Boys vs Girls (Part 2): The Dating Years
Nov 7 • 42:36
Boys vs Girls (Part 2): The Dating Years
Episode:

Boys vs Girls (Part 2): The Dating Years

November 7, 2024 • 42:36 • Courtney DeFeo

My friend, Heather MacFayden, is a mom of four boys and I am a mom of two girls. We have two very different (but equally enjoyable) parenting experiences. We are both podcasters, but we are also real life friends. We have had many conversations over the last 10 years about the unique differences between raising boys and girls. 

We decided to take our offline conversations online for you! Part 1 is over at her podcast, Dont Mom Alone - Boys vs Girls (Part 1): The Early Years. And today, you will hear Part 2 which is all about the dating years. We even get into the anxiety that comes with dances like homecoming and prom. 

I learned several things from Heather about how boys are feeling during these dating years. After our chat, I immediately went and talked to the girls about how the guys may feel used at times. They are more than a prop in a photo. I was encouraged to hear that her boys want deep conversations and interesting girls. 

My goal for this conversation was to grow our understanding and empathy of the opposite gender - especially if you only have 1 gender of children in your home. Let us know what you think! What do you wish moms of girls knew about boys? What do you wish moms of boys knew about girls? Send me a DM!

In this episode, we discuss:

-Dating challenges for teens today

-Ideas on how to help boys and girls interact when curiosity begins

-How social media and phones are impacting the dating process

-Seeing behind the homecoming drama - what is going on with each gender

Enjoy!

Courtney 

(02:00) Empathy in Parenting: Boys vs. Girls

(04:04) The Challenges of Modern Dating

(10:05) Navigating Social Events and Relationships

(18:08) The Impact of Social Media on Dating Dynamics

(20:21) The Pressure of Appearances in Relationships

(21:06) Navigating Modesty and Self-Confidence

(22:38) The Emotional Impact of Rejection

(23:52) Social Media's Role in Self-Perception

(24:40) Understanding Boys' Perspectives on Relationships

(25:45) The Importance of Communication and Planning

(27:39) The Dynamics of Dating and Social Expectations

(29:52) Boys' Leadership in Social Situations

(32:11) The Cost of Social Events and Expectations

(33:34) Teaching Boys About Respect and Kindness

(35:27) Building Confidence in Girls

(37:53) Encouraging Individuality in a Conformist Culture

(39:55) A Prayer for Our Children

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Resources from todays show:

HeatherMacFadyen.com

Dont Mom Alone Podcast

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Podcast:

Pardon the Mess

With Courtney DeFeo
As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Follow Pardon the Mess on Instagram and Facebook!
All Episodes:
May 7 • 29:01
Why discomfort is critical for our kids with Sissy Goff and David Thomas

ATTENTION: I have a pretty big announcement in the introduction of this episode. Dont miss whats coming next on Pardon the Mess!

Raising confident, resilient kids starts with helping them believe they are capable.

In this episode, Sissy Goff and David Thomastherapists and authors of Capableshare insight on how to help children build the confidence and resilience they need to face challenges. Drawing from decades of counseling experience, the conversation explores what it means for kids to develop a deep belief in their ability to do hard things and navigate adversity.

We talk about the importance of allowing kids to experience discomfort, why stepping back can actually help them grow, and how everyday moments can build confidence and emotional strength.

This episode is a helpful reminder that our kids are often more capable than we realizeand that giving them space to struggle can be one of the greatest gifts we offer.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Personal Stories of Capability

03:02 Understanding Anxiety in Children

05:56 The Role of Parents in Building Capability

08:53 Balancing Support and Challenge in Parenting

11:46 Real-Life Examples of Capability in Children

15:00 Encouraging Capability in Teenagers

17:48 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from todays show:

Raising Boys and Girls

Connect on Instagram with Raising Boys and Girls

Connect on Instagram with Sissy Goff

New book - Capable

Open a LearningRX center

Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Sign up for Morning Minute

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS
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May 4 • 10:02
Week 35: Proclaim faith publicly-the jailers house

Peter replied, Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. (Acts 2:38)

There once was a jailer who was ordered to guard Paul and Silas securely. Around midnight, Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God when an earthquake shook the prison, flinging open the doors and loosening everyones chains. The jailer woke up and saw the doors open. Thinking the prisoners had escaped, he was about to kill himself, but Paul shouted and saved him. He fell to the ground and asked Paul and Silas what he had to do to be saved. In that moment, the word of the Lord spoke to the jailer and his entire household.

The jailer was transformed: He took Paul and Silas and cleaned all their wounds, he and his entire house were baptized immediately, and then he brought Paul and Silas back to his house and served them a meal and was filled with joy. He went from imprisoning Jesuss messengers to joyfully sharing a meal after a baptism!

Faith is meant to transform us, and baptism is meant to tell the whole world of that transformation! Baptism does not save us; it is an outward display of an inward decision. When we are baptized, we are publicly telling people that we are no longer who we were before we followed Jesus. We should desire that type of faith for our kidsa faith that means being not ashamed but proud of how Jesus changed their lives.

This week, lets pray that our kids tell people when Jesus changes their lives. When baptism is right for them, lets pray they make that choice confidently and joyfully and lets celebrate them big!

Jesus, I pray that you change __________s life. May they have the type of faith that immediately takes action because they know life with you is too good. May they publicly declare their faith, so everyone knows they follow you. Amen.

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Apr 30 • 35:24
How do I grow in my faith with Shelley Giglio

Its easy to focus so much on caring for our families that we neglect our own personal faith.

In this episode, Shelley Giglio, co-founder of Passion Conferences and Passion City Church, shares wisdom on what it looks like for women to cultivate a strong, personal relationship with God. The conversation explores how our faith shapes our homes, why it matters for our kids to see it lived out, and how to keep Jesus at the center in everyday life.

We talk about practical ways to grow spiritually, the influence of a parents faith on the next generation, and the lasting impact of consistently showing up with intention.

This episode is a meaningful reminder that investing in your own faith is one of the most powerful ways to impact your family.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Early Impressions

02:59 Seasons of Life and Ministry

05:56 The Importance of Letting Go

09:00 Faith and Parenting Dynamics

11:58 Encouragement for Moms

14:55 Everyday Discipleship and Spiritual Growth

16:00 Building Consistency in Scripture Reading

20:09 Navigating Faith Amidst Illness and Disappointment

24:01 The Impact of Family on Faith Development

30:00 Embracing Unique Paths in Motherhood

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from todays show:

Connect with Shelley

Passion City Church

Passion Conferences

Six Steps Records

The Grove

Open a LearningRX center

Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Sign up for Morning Minute

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS
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Apr 27 • 13:38
Week 34: Contentment - Paul

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:1113)

In his efforts to spread the gospel all over the world, the apostle Paul endured trials that would break most people. He was beaten, imprisoned, hungry, and persecuted. He experienced dangerous travels, a shipwreck, and even a snake bite! But through all of that, Paul continued to praise Jesus. He even sang hymns while in prison!

Of all people, Paul understood that our situations and our lives are temporary. He knew what it was like to have more than enough and also knew what it was like to struggle and fear. Through faith, Paul learned to be content in Christ, not his circumstances.

Our lives can change in a second, and our emotions are fleeting. True contentment is learned, and it doesnt come naturally, especially for kids. Its so normal for our kids to want the next best thing. Of course they want the latest toys, electronics, shoes, or clothes, or a place on the best sports team. But when they base their happiness on these things, they are chasing a status and a high that will always leave them wanting more. Even though we know this as parents, we fall into that trap too!

We will only feel truly content by trusting in Gods provision for us no matter what. Our contentment in Christ grows as we trust God more and more. This life is not about the latest and greatest, its about being in a relationship with God.

This week, lets pray that our kids shift their minds to Jesus and learn to be content in him no matter what.

Lord, teach _______ to be content in you. Help them trust in your provision, rejoice in every season (good and bad), and find their peace not in circumstances or what they have but in you. May they, like Paul, decide that through Christ, they have all they need. Amen.

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Apr 23 • 39:14
Finding faithful friends with Tammie Floyd

Parenting was never meant to be done alone, but building meaningful community can feel challenging in the middle of full and busy lives.

In this episode, Tammie Floyd shares wisdom from years of parenting and ministry, with a focus on friendship and the importance of community for moms. The conversation explores what it looks like to cultivate life-giving relationships, why support matters in every season, and how God often provides the right people at the right time.

We also talk about the role of the local church in a childs faith journey and why consistent involvement can have a lasting impact.

This episode is a gentle reminder that we need each otherand that intentional community can make all the difference.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Family Background

04:59 Challenges of Parenting in a New City

10:03 Navigating Adult Friendships

14:59 Building Community Through Church

19:58 Raising Kids in Faith

20:51 Engaging Kids with Faith-Based Content

23:09 Navigating the Transition to Young Adulthood

27:02 The Importance of Community in Parenting

29:06 Prioritizing Church in Family Life

31:18 Three Key Themes in Parenting

35:59 Finding Joy and Humor in Parenting

39:39 Closing Thoughts and Prayer

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from todays show:

Connect with Tammie

Gateway Church

Parenting on Purpose curriculum

Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide

Sign up for Morning Minute

Open a LearningRX center

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
About the Host

Courtney DeFeo

Courtney DeFeo is the NEW host of Pardon the Mess! She is the author of In This House, We Will Giggle and Treasured and creator of ABC Scripture Cards and the kindness movement, Light ‘Em Up Acts. She loves to encourage parents and women through speaking, writing, and podcasting. She also serves on the board of For Girls Like You and Lighthouse Family Retreat. Her deepest desire is to encourage others and give generously in a way that draws people to God.

Her most honorable mention is her husband Ron and their two wildly fun girls (Ella, 16 and Larson, 14). Courtney is passionate about Jesus, coffee, Auburn football, Coca-Cola classic, her dog Mazie, spending time with friends and family, and finding deals at TJ Maxx. Although they have lived in Atlanta and Orlando, they currently reside in the DFW area. Courtney’s family loves to serve at Compass Church, travel together, and consume large amounts of table-side guacamole. Connect with Courtney on Instagram or visit CourtneyDeFeo.com.

More from Courtney →