How do I make friends as an adult?

Written by Jeanette Tapley
Published on October 07, 2022

We believe friendship matters, right?

But how do we make friends as adults? It’s not as easy as it was in elementary school, high school, or even in a sorority where you are placed with people around you and told, “These are your people now…”

As adults, we are living full lives, running kids around, managing schedules, work, nap times, and more. So where do we fit in the task of making new friends? 

Let me give you my best advice…

Look up.

You know when you get to the gym and you don’t know anyone, so you pick up your phone? (Because HEAVEN HELP US should we ever feel alone or like we don’t know anyone!) Put your phone down and look up. Who have you seen here before? Who did you see dropping their kid off at the child care at the same time? (Psst…you have kids the same age…something in common! And you chose this same gym class… another thing to bond over.) If you are new to this space, be brave and speak up. Ask someone around you a question or for help. Don’t be afraid to initiate conversation and say hello.

Send the invitation!

Would you like to have coffee with someone? Then ask them! We don’t need to make it weird or overcomplicate things. Just send the text and ask them to go out for coffee. And then… actually set it up. Get a time and a place on the calendar and, for goodness sake, do not flake!

Hostess with the mostest (or just hostess).

Ask people over. Whether it’s a Bible Study, book club, wine night or pool party, invite others into your home. Be a place where others can connect. One of the first ways I got to know new friends was at a cookie exchange. It was a great and safe place to meet new friends and connect over a shared love…cookies! By being a place where others connect you will connect as well.

Say ‘Yes.’

Want to make a new friend? Be ready and willing to go when you are invited. If there’s a hang-up with childcare or you just can’t make it, ask to share a sitter, speak up, or reschedule. Be willing to communicate.

Pray.

If you are in need of a friend, I’d love to challenge you to pray and ask the Lord to bring one to you. (See the prayer below.)

And lastly…be kind. Be you. Be a good friend!

Try praying this…

Lord,

I believe you created me to be a good friend and to have good friends around me.

Please open my eyes to a new friend. Help me to be willing to let my guard down. 

Help me to be brave when it comes to asking a new friend for coffee or lunch.

Please Lord, open my eyes to people and new friends all around me.


Consider a few extra resources:

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Jeanette Tapley

Jeanette Tapley is a podcast host, author, speaker, and friend who loves all things friendship, laughter, and a good cup of coffee. When she is not recording for her podcasts, It’s Time For Coffee & Moms At Work, you can find her hanging with her 3 favorite teens + handsome husband. 

Her heart beats for people to be heard, valued, and never alone no matter what stage of life they find themselves in. Whether that be through navigating friendships, figuring out faith, raising a family, or life as an entrepreneur.  She is the internet friend everyone needs who encourages people to walk through it!

Read more about Jeanette

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