As our culture becomes increasingly secular and Judeo-Christian values fade into the sunset, it’s challenging—and scary—to raise girls in today’s society. Now more than ever, parents need to be intentional and proactive about instilling Christian virtues and confidence in their daughters.
Here are five ways to help you focus on building godly character and confidence in your daughters.
1. Establish daily routines
One of the basic needs of every child is security, which is why routines are important. Children thrive on routines because knowing what comes next and what is expected makes them feel safe and helps them to be responsible. When I was raising my children, getting dressed, making beds, eating breakfast, and brushing their teeth followed an established order. I found that following a routine helped to prevent chaos and often resulted in a more peaceful environment.
Our family also followed both a morning and bedtime routine Monday through Friday. Saturday was free and fun; pj’s were allowed until noon and bedtime was pushed back an hour. Sunday had its own routine of cinnamon rolls for breakfast, a family meal around the table after church, and pizza for supper.
Our most important routine, however, was having devotions or reading Bible stories together. When this is incorporated into your children’s daily schedule at a young age, it becomes a natural part of their day that doesn’t need to be forced. This is a time when meaningful discussion can occur to help your child grow in her understanding of God and how to apply His Word to her life.
2. Be a good listener
Moms are busy as they multitask and juggle many things, but it’s important to stop and give an attentive ear when your daughter wants to talk. She may want to tell you a silly knock-knock joke, a story she made up, or something funny that happened at school. She may share with you her dreams of becoming a veterinarian, a school teacher, or an architect. As she shares her dreams, you have an opportunity to support and encourage her to pursue what God puts on her heart.
Each time you listen to your daughter, you show that you value her as a person, and you earn her trust. As she matures, she will trust you with deeper issues that allow you to share your wisdom and help her make good decisions.
3. Help your daughter choose good friends
My daughter was a competitive tennis player. She would often play with girls who were as good or better than she was because it improved her game. I explained to her that choosing friends is much the same. It’s important for our girls to have friends who bring out the best in them and respect who they are and what they believe. Of course, we need to teach our daughters how to be kind and compassionate toward everyone, but they need to be choosy when it comes to their closest friends.
As parents, we should encourage our daughters to socialize with like-minded friends from Christian homes so they don’t feel pressure to conform to other ways of thinking. Our girls will have plenty of exposure to non-biblical ideas and lifestyles outside of the home, so being with friends who share their beliefs will reinforce their faith and give them confidence in what they believe.
4. Help your daughter identify who she is in Christ
Being created and loved by a holy God is the greatest insight we can give our daughters to build their faith and confidence. One of the best ways to communicate how much God loves your daughter is by filling her heart and mind with encouraging and powerful Bible verses like these:
Psalm 139:13-14 (ERV) – “You formed the way I think and feel. You put me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because you made me in such a wonderful way. I know how amazing that was!”
1 Corinthians 2:9 (ERV) “No one has ever seen, no one has ever heard,
no one has ever imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”
2 Timothy 1:7 (ERV) – “The Spirit God gave us does not make us afraid. His Spirit is a source of power and love and self-control.”
1 John 3:1 (ERV) – “The Father has loved us so much! This shows how much he loved us: We are called children of God. And we really are his children.”
There are many more Bible verses that can encourage and strengthen your daughter no matter what challenges she encounters as she grows and matures. Encourage her to use the Bible as a road map for her life.
5. Pray with her often
Teach your daughter that prayer is talking to God, and she can tell Him whatever is on her mind. God already knows what she’s thinking and feeling, and He wants her to spend time with him in conversation. You can teach your daughter to pray by modeling it for her. When you pray together, have an honest conversation with God and then let her pour out her heart. There may be times when she keeps things simple, and there may be times when she goes deeper. The important thing is that you are there to listen as she talks with her heavenly Father, so you know what she is facing from day to day.
For example, one night when my daughter was young, she prayed aloud that God would keep her from having bad dreams. When she finished praying, I asked about her dreams and we were able to talk about it until she felt at peace.
As we fight the battle for our daughters’ spiritual lives, remember to claim this promise from 1 John 4:4 “My dear children, you belong to God, so you have already defeated these false prophets. That’s because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”
For more ideas on how to raise confident daughters, check out our age specific courses, Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters
Consider a few extra resources:
- What is your teen daughter’s view of romance?
- Three ways to model a healthy body image for your daughter
- Fifty prayers for your teenage daughter
- How do I encourage my daughter to dress modestly?
