What is your child’s identity?
As a parent, I have a deep desire for my kids’ identity to be solely grounded in Christ. I would love for each of my daughters to deeply believe and always say, “I am a child of God!” I have taught, spoken and repeated the grounding truth of their identity in Christ for the last 18 years to my daughters. The hard reality of living in a broken world – is that my kids and your kids will face insecurities and doubts and wandering from time to time.
It is absolutely normal for all of us to get lost and put our identities in other things. I remember putting my identity in my career when I worked for Chick-fil-A headquarters in Marketing. I was so proud to work with those “Eat Mor Chikin” cows and my job made for some impressive dinnertime conversations. Then, I decided to quit and stay home with my kids. And as it was taken away – I realized I put that job way too high up on my list. I slowly learned to believe that “what I did” was more important than “who I am.” If I can struggle with my identity as a lifelong Christian, imagine how our children can struggle.
They have our voices and teachers and coach speaking to them and praising them for their abilities and gifts. It’s so easy for our kids to begin to believe their identity is wrapped in what they DO for the world – whether it’s the athlete, the math genius or the kind kid. And the reverse is true as well. Over time, they can start to believe negative comments from us and others. In a moment of frustration, we can speak a label over them that sticks. From “you are too sensitive” to “you are so lazy” to “you need to be more like…”. These subtle messages began to speak lies and labels over our kids. And let’s not forget friends and social media. As they grow and get exposed to people different than them – they can believe that they are too fat, too loud, too quiet, too dumb and on and on.
So, what can we do as Christian parents?
PRAY
This past year, I have had the opportunity to pray with thousands of like-minded parents over at Pardon The Mess Podcast. This week, the prayer episode is all about our children’s “Identity in Christ”. Head on over today and let’s pray for this very issue for our kids. I believe our identity in Christ is a key piece of our faith and our kids’ faith. This is something we can influence but cannot control. So, what do we do with things we cannot control? We hand it over to God. We pray together that His love of our kids will be rooted in their hearts in a deep way. We pray against the lies they are believing – for those negative statements to loosen their grip on their souls. We pray for mentors and coaches to come into our kids’ lives that will speak the truth of who they are in Christ. We pray that they believe and know deep in their soul – that their true identity in Christ is not something that can be taken away. Or something they can lose.
PRAISE
Let’s look for opportunities this week to PRAISE who they are and not just what they do. Should we compliment the athlete or the math genius? Of course! Just keep in mind that very core passion is not who they are and could be taken away at any time. It’s not the full story of that child. Look for ways to compliment your kids character this week. Did they handle a mistake with grace? Did they choose to put a friend first? Did they choose humility over pride? What actions and attributes line up with scripture and make sure we celebrate those as loud as a touchdown or 100 on a test. And while you’re at it – go ahead and look for ways to compliment their friends. Speak specifically into their lives and watch their hearts overflow.
PAY ATTENTION
Pay attention to the lies and labels. I was in a meeting with one of my daughters the other day, and through tears she said, “I have always been the weak sister.” And I could tell by her eyes – this was a lie she had been believing for years. I am so thankful she was honest so that I can pray against this and speak against this label she placed on herself. She is not weak. She is strong, loved, chosen and made for a purpose. On countless occasions, I have had to ask for forgiveness for speaking something to them that wasn’t true. Let’s pay attention to them this week and looks for ways to affirm them. Let’s model humility and apologize for words we have spoken harshly over them. Let’s remind them that they matter to God and matter to us.
Recently, I was at our students ministry on Wednesday night- where hundreds of students gather for fun, worship, small groups and community. I have been a small group leader for 4 years and watched the absolute saving power of Jesus. I have watched as high schoolers grasp onto an identity that cannot be shaken with mean comments and social media trends. The pastor spoke truth over them during his message and gave them over 90 truths that can be found in scripture. I wanted to share it with you today. Look these up with your kids and remind each other what God says about YOU! You are loved.
They are written below, but also available in PDF form so you can easily print them off and share with your kids!
The Word of God Says These 90 Things About Those Who Are in Jesus Christ.
1. I am faithful (Ephesians 1:1)
2. I have been justified (Romans 5:1)
3. I am Christ’s friend (John 15:15)
4. I am God’s child (John 1:12)
5. I am a member of Christ’s Body (1 Corinthians 12:27)
6. I am assured all things work together for good (Romans 8:28)
7. I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God (2 Corinthians 1:21-22)
8. I am confident that God will perfect the work He has begun in me (Philippians 1:6)
9. I am a citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20)
10. I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
11. I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy1:7)
12. I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me (1John 5:18)
13. I am blessed in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3)
14. I am chosen before the creation of the world (Ephesians 1:4,11)
15. I am holy and blameless (Ephesians 1:4)
16. I am adopted as his child (Ephesians 1:5)
17. I am given God’s glorious grace lavishly and without restriction (Ephesians 1:5,8)
18. I am in Him (Ephesians 1:7; 1 Corinthians 1:30)
19. I am forgiven (Colossians 1:14)
20. I have purpose (Ephesians 1:9 & 3:11)
21. I have hope (Ephesians1:12)
22. I am included (Ephesians1:13)
23. I am sealed with the promised Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13)
24. I am salt and light of the earth (Matthew 5:13-14)
25. I am a personal witness of Jesus Christ (Acts 1:8)
26. I am God’s co-worker (2 Corinthians 6:1)
27. I am a minister of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:17-20)
28. I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5)
29. I am raised up with Christ (Ephesians 2:6)
30. I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 2:6)
31. I have been shown the incomparable riches of God’s grace (Ephesians 2:7)
32. God has expressed His kindness to me (Ephesians 2:7)
33. I am God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
34. I have been brought near to God through Christ’s blood (Ephesians 2:13)
35. I have peace (Ephesians 2:14)
36. I have access to the Father (Ephesians 2:18)
37. I am a member of God’s household (Ephesians 2:19)
38. I am secure (Ephesians 2:20)
39. I am a holy temple (Ephesians 2:21; 1 Corinthians 6:19)
40. I am a dwelling for the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 2:22)
41. I share in the promise of Christ Jesus (Ephesians 3:6)
42. God’s power works through me (Ephesians 3:7)
43. I can approach God with freedom and confidence (Ephesians 3:12)
44. I know there is a purpose for my sufferings (Ephesians 3:13)
45. I can grasp how wide, long, high, and deep Christ’s love is (Ephesians 3:18)
46. I am completed by God (Ephesians 3:19)
47. I can bring glory to God( Ephesians 3:21)
48. I have been called (Ephesians 4:1; 2 Timothy 1:9)
49. I can be humble, gentle, patient and lovingly tolerant of others (Ephesians 4:2)
50. I can mature spiritually (Ephesians 4:15)
51. I can have a new attitude and a new lifestyle (Ephesians 4:21-32)
52. I can be kind and compassionate to others (Ephesians 4:32)
53. I can forgive others (Ephesians 4:32)
54. I am a light to others, and can exhibit goodness, righteousness, and truth (Ephesians 5:8-9) 55. I can understand what God’s will is (Ephesians 5:17)
56. I can give thanks for everything (Ephesians 5:20)
57. I don’t have to always have my own agenda (Ephesians 5:21)
58. I can honor God through marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33)
59. I can parent my children with composure (Ephesians 6:4)
60. I can be strong (Ephesians 6:10)
61. I can stand firm in the day of evil (Ephesians 6:13)
62. I am not alone (Hebrews 13:5)
63. I am growing (Colossians 2:7)
64. I am His disciple (John 13:15)
65. I am prayed for by Jesus Christ (John 17:20-23)
66. I am united with other believers (John 17:20-23)
67. I am not in want (Philippians 4:19)
68. I possess the mind of Christ (I Corinthians 2:16)
69. I am promised eternal life (John 6:47)
70. I have a full life through Jesus (John 10:10)
71. My heart and mind are protected with God’s peace (Philippians 4:7)
72. I am chosen and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)
73. I am blameless (I Corinthians1:8)
74. I am crucified with Christ (Galatians 2:20)
75. I am a light in the world (Matthew 5:14)
76. I am more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)
77. I am the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21)
78. I am safe (I John 5:18)
79. I am part of God’s kingdom (Revelation 1:6)
80. I am healed from sin (I Peter 2:24)
81. I am no longer condemned (Romans 8:1,2)
82. I am not helpless (Philippians 4:13)
83. I am overcoming (I John 4:4)
84. I am persevering (Philippians 3:14)
85. I am protected (John10:28)
86. I am born again (I Peter 1:23)
87. I am dead to sin (Romans 6:2)
88. I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
89. I am delivered (Colossians 1:13)
90. I am victorious (I John 5:4)
Download the PDF with 90 things about Jesus here.
Consider a few extra resources:
