Love Where You Are with Somer Colbert Podcast
Mar 14 • 53:45
How Do I Deal With Difficult Mother/Daughter Relationships?
Episode:

How Do I Deal With Difficult Mother/Daughter Relationships?

March 14, 2022 • 53:45 • Somer Colbert

In this weeks episode of the Love Where You Are podcast we are continuing in our six week series asking the question: How Do I Deal With This? And today, we will be answering the question: How Do I Deal With Difficult Mother/Daughter Relationships? 

 

Joining me to speak on this topic are author, literary agent and Founder of the Blythe Daniel Agency, Blythe Daniel and her mom, author, counselor and speaker Dr. Helen McIntosh. This amazing mother/daughter duo are the co-authors of Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters and their latest release, I Love You, Mom: Cherished Word Gifts From My Heart to Yours.

 

As Christians, it is our calling and desire to struggle well and respond to difficult relationships in a way that honors Christ and doesnt derail our mission, which is ultimately to point others to Him but lets be honest, that is hard to do when you find yourself in a relationship that is defined by someone elses dysfunction.

 

Dr. Helen was raised by a mother whose anger and alcoholism caused frequent strain on their relationship. Even at a young age, and before she knew Christ, Dr. Helen set out on a mission to understand the why behind her mothers behavior and purposed to establish a new approach and legacy of love once her daughter Blythe was born.

 

Join me for this delightful conversation as Blythe and Dr. Helen share their story, insight and wisdom and encourage listeners with Gods heart and His word as it applies to mother/daughter relationships.

 

Connect with Blythe on Instagram and Facebook

Connect with Dr. Helen McIntosh on Facebook

 

Check out all of their resources at ourmendedhearts.com and grab a copy of I Love You, Mom just in time for Mothers Day!

 

Id love to hear your favorite takeaway from todays show! 

Come find me on Facebook or Instagram and leave a comment!

If youd like to receive weekly updates from me, you can sign up for my e-mail list HERE!

 

Favorite Takeaways:

You are just responsible for whats on your side of the net - Dr. Helen

I made the mistake of trying to be the fixer

Mom, I long for us to be restored, what do you think we need to do to make things better?

 

Its so important to know what your thinking is and how that affects your actions - Blythe

 

When we can recognize that its not about us, its not - well, we should have done this or we should have done -  a lot of times, its that the other person is making the choices and theyre saying the things that affect us but we dont have to receive that and take it on ourselves

 

Proverbs 4:23

I bumped her cup, indeed, but what came out were her issues, not mine

 

Be purposeful in how you teach your children to love and how to ask for forgiveness

 

Extend grace and keep a fresh account between you

 

That which you focus on, you become like - Dr. Helen

Keep your eyes off of dysfunction and keep your eyes on the Lord

 

A way to show respect is to know when is the best time to speak to your loved one

 

Guard your space and the other persons time

 

Renewing can start simply

 

We are disobeying God when we dont honor the person He has given us as mother

 

Throughout the Bible, God is so good to renew relationships.

 

Intentionality is really where God wants our hearts

 

Choose to engage with love to build small bridges 

 

Choose love even when you dont feel loving

 

Anger is a reaction when we dont get what we want

 

When you are working harder in the relationship than the other person, thats a red flag

 

Matthew 7

 

Make sure your side of the net is clear

 

We need to model good communication.

When we want to get our point across, we are not so great at listening to the other person.

We are geared to go ahead and formulate our answer to something or our next point while someone is talking. 

 

We need to be the one initiating because otherwise it may never happen

 

As we speak words of life then that reflects back to your own heart 

 

Our ability to love is a function of our relationship with the Lord

 

Boundaries are healthy ways to protect the relationship

Boundaries help establish the care of the relationship

 

A healthy boundary life means sometimes you say yes and sometimes you say no

 

Psalm 23

 

The blood of the lamb is the anti-venom for the bite of a snake

 

Ephesians 6

Ephesians 4:29

 

To put on love, you dont have to feel it but you can extend it

Podcast:

Love Where You Are

With Somer Colbert
Equipping Christian Moms to embrace their season, live life on mission and share Jesus right where they are! Like a weekly coffee date with the girls, Somer and her guests come together to ask the hard questions, have honest conversations and dive deep into God's Word. Her heart is to equip and encourage Moms who are seeking to model an authentic Christian walk for their families while also making an impact for the kingdom through love in action wherever God has them in their current season of life. Following the Deuteronomy 6 model, Somer encourages listeners to identify their gifts, talents and current season of life as opportunities to impact the lives of others and bring their children along in the journey reminding us there are opportunities everywhere and every day to love right where you are!
All Episodes:
Jan 29 • 35:27
Love Where You Are Finale: Making Spirits Brighter (Shiloh Women's Christmas Conference 2023)

Hey sweet friend, 

This is a very special episode of Love Where You Are for a few reasons. One reason is because this audio is from when I spoke at the Shiloh Women's Christmas Conference just last month, "Making Spirits Brighter." I shared a message of leadership and delegation, coming from a story of Moses that deeply resonated with me and I feel like it's something many of us moms deal with... 

We get so busy juggling all the things and adding stuff to our plate, that we can often lose sight of what God is truly calling us to: the holy work of motherhood. And when we are juggling all the things, we are so suspectible to the temptations and distractions of the enemy, and that pulls us from that holy focus. 

It was not long after sharing this message, a message that I needed in my own life, that I realized what God was calling me to do. 

Right now, I am shifting my focus and energy to the Called to Love podcast here on Christian Parenting, where I specifically answer your questions about adoption and foster care. If you have enjoyed Love Where You Are, you will most likely enjoy Called to Love. It's still me, Somer, just with a new and specific purpose and mission to serve those walking the beautiful and broken journey of adoption or foster care. I would love it if you joined us for those deep conversations, friend. 

And thank you for suporting me with Love Where You Are. It has been a beautiful chapter that draws to a close, but I am excited for what God has in store.

I hope this message from the Shiloh conference impacts you just as it has impacted me. God bless! 

Just for stopping by, here is your FREE downloadable resource from Somer, The 2023 Proverbs 31 Woman. 

You can connect with Somer through her Facebook & Instagram!

Click here to learn more about the Called to Love podcast. 

Love Where You Are is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit http://www.ChristianParenting.org

Jan 22 • 30:32
Taking Care of the Mind, Body, and Spirit with Laura Smith

Welcome to the Love Where You Are podcast! Just for stopping by, here is your FREE downloadable resource from Somer, "The 2023 Proverbs 31 Woman." 

You can connect with Somer through her Facebook & Instagram!

In this episode, she is joined with today's guest, Laura Smith

Laura is a Jesus Lover, best-selling author, speaker, wife & mom of four. She is passionate about equipping families with a better understanding of mental health and scripture, and has a new book titled "5 Minute Devotions for Teens: A Guide to God and Mental Health"  In this conversation, Somer and Laura discuss practical ways for us busy moms to take care of our bodies, minds, and spirits so we can better glorify God in all that we do  

You can also connect with Laura on Instagram.  

Thank you for being here today. Now, let's dive into the conversation! 

Love Where You Are is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Jan 15 • 32:56
Purposefooled with Kelly Needham

In todays episode Somer and Kelly discuss how easy it is to become purposefooled. Even before the rise of social media which has exponentially impacted this problem, humans have sought after glory for themselves and the extraordinary, as Kelly describes with the Tower of Babal story. We often seek to make ourselves the saviors, the heroes, of the story, instead of giving everything to God. We will run ourselves ragged, wheels constantly spinning, doing all the things, because the mundane and ordinary don't feel like enough. God is meant to be our purpose in life, not the titles we possess or the activities we do. 

Thanks for coming to the Love Where You Are podcast! Just for stopping by, here is your FREE downloadable resource from Somer, The 2023 Proverbs 31 Woman. 

You can connect with Somer through her Facebook & Instagram!

Kelly Needham is a busy mom of five kiddos, wife to Jimmy Needham, and author to several books. Click here to buy Purposefooled and click here to follow her on Instagram

Thank you for being here today. Now, lets dive into the conversation! 

Love Where You Are is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit http://www.ChristianParenting.org

 

Jan 8 • 36:56
Courage for Life with Ann White

In todays episode Somer and Ann discuss courage as we enter a new year full of uncertainity when it comes to our economy, politics, and the culture war. Ann gigves us seven practical tips for courage, examples of courageous people from the Bible, and reminds us that sometimes God calls us to something even if we "aren't ready." 

Scripture reference: 2nd Timothy 1:7

Notable moments: 

-God does not give us a spirit of fear. 

-God carries us through life's hardships and traumas. 

-Living in fear can be comfortable if it's all you've ever known.

 

Thanks for coming to the Love Where You Are podcast! Just for stopping by, here is your FREE downloadable resource from Somer, The 2023 Proverbs 31 Woman. 

You can connect with Somer through her Facebook & Instagram!

Ann White is passionate about creating resources to help women build their relationship with God. It drives her to create such things as the first female-voiced audio Bible. The female voice is important to her mission, which has reached behind bars as well as in church pews. One thing in working with at-risk women, its important to use gender-specific treatment. You dont put a woman who may have been traumatized by a man with a male counselor or a male-voiced program. "Courage for Life" is only the beginning as Ann works with Tyndale House Publishers on a Womens Study Bible. We should be sharing God and his word, teaching other people, and inspiring life change. Everyone needs a daily dose of God-given Courage For Life! says Ann.

Thank you for being here today. Now, lets dive into the conversation! 

Love Where You Are is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit http://www.ChristianParenting.org

 

Jan 1 • 33:52
Stuff I'd Only Tell God with Jennifer Dukes Lee

In this episode Somer and special guest Jennifer Dukes Lee discuss the power of journaling and being honest with God.

Despite the fact that we KNOW cognitively that God KNOWS everything and we can't keep secrets from Him, there is something that prevents us from opening up that dialogue with Him and being vulnerable... And yet in that vulnerability, we can deepen our relationship and connection to Him, and it also impacts us as mothers. 

Notable moments the conversation: 

-"Holiness in the holy mess" 

-We can miss out on intimacy with God if we keep our distance. 

-If you don't process things properly with the Lord, you may end up taking out all the pent up emotion and internal conflict onto your kids or those close to you. 

Thanks for listening to the Love Where You Are podcast! Just for stopping by, here is your FREE downloadable resource from Somer, The 2023 Proverbs 31 Woman. 

You can connect with Somer through her Facebook & Instagram!

Jennifer Dukes Lee is a prolific author and calls herself a "storyteller and grace-dweller." Her recent book, "Stuff I'd Only Tell God: A Guided Journal of Courageous Honesty, Obsessive Truth-Telling, and Beautifully Ruthless Self-Discovery" is the catalyst for today's conversation and available wherever you find your books. You can also connect with Jennifer on Instagram on her personal account or the account specific to this book, and Facebook.  

Thank you for being here today. Now, lets dive into the conversation! 

Love Where You Are is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit http://www.ChristianParenting.org

About the Host

Somer Colbert

Somer Colbert is a writer, speaker and host of the Love Where You Are podcast. She is the Director of Adoption and Foster Care Ministry at Crosschurch and Connected Champion with the Arkansas Baptist Children and Family Ministries where she creates support, awareness and advocacy for families seeking to serve in the areas of adoption and foster care. She creates weekly podcast episodes and resources to equip and empower Christian families to identify their influence for the gospel in every season, live life on mission and share Jesus right where they are.  Somer is passionate about equipping spiritually healthy families and seeing a movement of God's people step into confidence in their ability to change the world around them through the way they love! 

She resides in Arkansas with her husband, three kids and three dogs. She's obsessed with British docudramas and cooking shows and can always be found with a cup of hot tea in hand. Her life has been forever changed by the love of Jesus, marriage to her favorite person, parenting her crazy crew and walking multiple adoption journeys. 

Connect with Somer on Facebook and Instagram

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