What Your Adopted Teens Need Most with Susan TeBos

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, my special guest is a children's book author, public speaker, and a busy biological, adoptive and foster mom: Beth Guckenberger. Beth is someone I have seen speak in sessions at Christian conferences and my daughter loves her latest book! I am so grateful she is my guest today to speak into the lies our kids believe and even ourselves, and how we can combat this with Gods truth to build emotionally stable homes. 

Deception, manipulation, triangulation, aggression, even violence, these are just some of the challenging and problematic behaviors we may experience with our foster and adoptive kiddos but what if I told you these were symptoms? These behaviors come from a childs fear and insecurity, and not knowing how to deal with it in a healthy way. Often these kids have needs which are unmet, and when you grow up not having your needs met by parental figures, it develops these unhealthy coping mechanisms or methods of getting what you want. While this is frustrating for us as the parents trying to love our kids (and then to feel like theyre angry at us or lying to us all the time) it is important to remember this is coming from a place of fear, insecurity, and not knowing any difference. This is the key to breakthroughs - addressing the roots and not the symptoms: overcoming lies with truth. 

Here are a few key takeaways: 

• Understanding childrens emotions and thoughts
• How challenging and problematic behaviors are often symptoms to a childs inner identity and thought-process, and thats the root which should be addressed. 
• Identifying lies and intrusive thoughts
• Recognizing behavioral signs of struggle
• Creating emotional safety in chaotic environments
• Marriage as the concrete foundation for the home and how to protect it
• Balance between childs needs and parents needs 
• Understanding spiritual warfare in your home
• Empowering children with tools against the lies of the enemy 

Connect more with Beth on her website and Instagram! 

Check out her childrens book series, StrongHeart Series: 

The BRAND NEW addition to the series, The Heart Who Wanted to Lasso Thoughts (A story about turning bad thoughts to good with prayers of gratitude)

The Heart Who Wanted to Be Free (A story about finding freedom through admitting our wrongs)

The Heart Who Wanted to Find a Way (A story about calming anxiety through resting in God)

The Heart Who Wanted to Be Whole (A story about healing from negative talk through God's truth)

Christian Parenting resource for you: Morning Minute

Subscribe now at MorningMinute.org  to receive each weekday morning a verse to strengthen your spirit, one parenting insight grounded in Christ-like wisdom, one short action item to guide your heart and your kids and one resource to help you go deeper.

To submit your prayer requests, use this form by clicking here! 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. 

I would love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, my special guest is an unusual one for this show but still speaks relevant truth to us as adoptive and foster parentsespecially fathers. My guest is Trey Tucker, the founder and owner of Rugged Counseling, known for providing therapy without the fluff. He is a mental health expert and social media influencer, specifically targeting young men to help them live out their God given purpose. His counseling and videos resonate because they challenge passive, surface level advice and speak honestly about responsibility, identity, boundaries, and purpose. He is also now an author with a book titled, Tough Enough: Hone Your Habits, Cultivate Purpose, and Forge Genuine Strength. 

Our conversation today stems around how fathers can step up in their role with foster and adoptive children, and how mothers can support their husbands, too. I ask Trey a lot of questions around the husband and fathers experience, their mental health journey, and some of it parallels what we know traumatized kids experience: feeling isolated, purposeless, and unseen. Fathers are vital in the household but can be often misunderstood. This conversation benefits both husband and wife, father and mother, as they are united in this calling. 

Here are a few key takeaways: 

• Defining Biblical manhood
• The insecurities many men face and dont voice 
• How men can be resilient and possess emotional strength
• What wives can do to support their husbands  

Trey Tuckers new book: Tough Enough: Hone Your Habits, Cultivate Purpose, and Forge Genuine Strength. 

Trey Tuckers website

Trey Tucker on YouTube

Trey Tucker on Instagram 

Christian Parenting resource for you: Morning Minute

Subscribe now at MorningMinute.org  to receive each weekday morning a verse to strengthen your spirit, one parenting insight grounded in Christ-like wisdom, one short action item to guide your heart and your kids and one resource to help you go deeper.

To submit your prayer requests, use this form by clicking here! 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. 

I would love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! This is part two to an incredible conversation

In this episode, my special guest is an adult adoptee named Niemah Scherlacher. Niemah is currently working on a book detailing her incredible adoption story, but we are honored to hear her share pieces of this story on the podcast. She is now a retired and happy grandma, but her story begins in Israel, after being born to a fifteen year old Palestinian girl. As Niemah describes, God protected her mother and her during this tumultuous time between Israel, Palestine and even the United States, and He orchestrated everything so Niemah would be adopted at the age of two and brought over to the states.

 Niemah also shares her experience as an adopted child in her family, how the church community interacted with her, and the secular world. Niemah encourages parents to talk with their children about the childs story because the child is always wondering those questions but might be afraid to ask them. Niemah had an unusual experience when compared to other adoptees because she primarily wrestled with God in her later years after more information was revealed about her birth mother

 Here are a few key takeaways:

     Naima's story is a testament to God's divine intervention.

     Adoption can be a celebrated aspect of a child's identity.

     Open communication about adoption is crucial for children.

     Children often think about their adoption, even if they don't express it.

     It's important for adoptive parents to initiate conversations about identity.

     Healing from adoption-related trauma can be a lifelong journey.

     Understanding a child's background helps in parenting.

     Adoptive parents should not be too hard on themselves.

     Children's struggles can be transformed into hope for others.

     God's purpose is at work in the lives of adopted children.

Niemah is still working on her book so follow her on Facebook and Instagram to stay connected!

Christian Parenting resource for you: Morning Minute

Subscribe now at MorningMinute.org to receive each weekday morning a verse to strengthen your spirit, one parenting insight grounded in Christ-like wisdom, one short action item to guide your heart and your kids and one resource to help you go deeper.

 To submit your prayer requests, use this form by clicking here!

 You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected].

 I would love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! This is part one to an incredible conversation

In this episode, my special guest is an adult adoptee named Niemah Scherlacher. Niemah is currently working on a book detailing her incredible adoption story, but we are honored to hear her share pieces of this story on the podcast. She is now a retired and happy grandma, but her story begins in Israel, after being born to a fifteen year old Palestinian girl. As Niemah describes, God protected her mother and her during this tumultuous time between Israel, Palestine and even the United States, and He orchestrated everything so Niemah would be adopted at the age of two and brought over to the states. 

Niemah also shares her experience as an adopted child in her family, how the church community interacted with her, and the secular world. Niemah encourages parents to talk with their children about the childs story because the child is always wondering those questions but might be afraid to ask them. Niemah had an unusual experience when compared to other adoptees because she primarily wrestled with God in her later years after more information was revealed about her birth mother 

Here are a few key takeaways: 

• Naima's story is a testament to God's divine intervention.
• Adoption can be a celebrated aspect of a child's identity.
• Open communication about adoption is crucial for children.
• Children often think about their adoption, even if they don't express it.
• It's important for adoptive parents to initiate conversations about identity.
• Healing from adoption-related trauma can be a lifelong journey.
• Understanding a child's background helps in parenting.
• Adoptive parents should not be too hard on themselves.
• Children's struggles can be transformed into hope for others.
• God's purpose is at work in the lives of adopted children.

Niemah is still working on her book so follow her on Facebook and Instagram to stay connected! 

Christian Parenting resource for you: Morning Minute

Subscribe now at MorningMinute.org  to receive each weekday morning a verse to strengthen your spirit, one parenting insight grounded in Christ-like wisdom, one short action item to guide your heart and your kids and one resource to help you go deeper.

To submit your prayer requests, use this form by clicking here! 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. 

I would love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, my special guest and friend is Cynthia Yanof, who has been featured on this podcast before. Cynthia is the biological mother to two kids who have flown the nest, one graduated from college and one just starting, and her family also adopted a son who is in third grade. Cynthia stays busy not just as a mom but as a podcaster, speaker, and author. Her latest book, Howd I Miss That? sparks a lot of todays conversation. 

It is so easy to get distracted as a foster or adoptive parent by all the busyness and urgent tasks of life, and I wanted to take a minute with Cynthia to focus on what really matters in this calling. A lot happens in life, a lot of distractions or even too much information, so lets get back to the basics. Somewhere along our journeys, God opened our eyes to loving children who are not our own. How do we do this well? Cynthia offers advice gained from her own experience, along with humor and gut-punches (the good kind!).

Here are a few key takeaways: 

• Understanding what really matters as parents is crucial.
• Little differences in our actions can lead to significant impacts.
• The urgent tasks in life often dont have an eternal impact.
• Finding humor in parenting challenges can ease stress.
• If youre going to laugh about it later, laugh about it now
• Community and support are essential for foster and adoptive parents.
• Being a 'namer' helps children understand their identity in Christ.
• A reluctant 'yes' to God's calling can still lead to great things.
• The Lord is faithful and will reveal Himself in our journeys.
• Life is short; we must not miss the opportunities God gives us.

You can learn more about Cynthia Yanof on her website

You can follow her on Instagram

You can check out MESSmerized with Cynthia Yanof click here

You can find her book on Amazon or wherever you shop for books! It is called, Howd I Miss That?: Gas Pump Confessions, Drive-Thru Obsessions, and Figuring Out What Really Matters

Christian Parenting resource for you: Morning Minute

Subscribe now at MorningMinute.org  to receive each weekday morning a verse to strengthen your spirit, one parenting insight grounded in Christ-like wisdom, one short action item to guide your heart and your kids and one resource to help you go deeper.

To submit your prayer requests, use this form by clicking here! 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. 

I would love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!