Let's Parent on Purpose

January 26, 2020

Ep. 158 : Survival Guide: Meaningful Friendships

One major core principle your children should possess is knowing how to make meaningful friendships. Help them understand that our friends determine the direction and quality of our lives.

We naturally walk, talk, dress, and think like the people we are with most often. Sometimes it’s healthy to step back and get some perspective. Ask your kids to reflect on the question: Do I like the composite of who they are becoming? Because that’s who I’m becoming.

Finding a church community that is vibrant and really supports your child could light their life on fire. Without spiritual friendships, you’ll realize how lonely it could be.

As it says in the Bible, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Talk to your children about the warning signs of people they may want to avoid. MADGAS, inspired by Proverbs 20, is an acronym that helps identify toxic friendships and relationships that can end up ruining your child’s life.

• Manipulator – These are people who are good at getting you to do what you shouldn’t and don’t want to do by guilting or shaming you. As parents, also make sure that you’re not being a manipulator to your child.
• Addict – Addiction destroys humanity. It destroys those who might have once been caring, loving, and generous. Addicts become incredibly self-centered and other become commodities to them. Continue to have conversations with your children about substance abuse in terms of the destructive outcomes it can bring about.
• Deceiver – These are the liars, those who are not trustworthy. Help your children understand that if they will lie to other people, they will probably lie to you. Lying breaks relationships.
• Gossip – There are people who feel better about themselves by tearing everybody down. If they gossip with you, they will gossip about you. As a parent, make sure that you aren’t gossiping in front of your child as well.
• Arguer – The arguer is more concerned with appearing right than they are the people around them. They are a big drain on energy.
• Slug – People who have a poor work ethic and just sit around and wait for everybody to serve them. Be mindful if you are carrying the load in the relationship.

Avoid MADGAS and avoid being them as well.

If your child identifies these toxic relationships among their friends, there are two things they can do:

1. Diversify. You don’t need to be around the same people all the time.

2. Dilute. Add new people to your friendship group to change the dynamic of the group.

On the other hand, JETPACKs will launch you and uplift you. This stands for people who are: Joyful, Encourager, Trustworthy, Peacemaker, Active, Christ-centered, Kingdom-minded.

Encourage your children to be the kind of friend that they want. Be a blessing to others.