Living Wholehearted

September 12, 2023

Episode 198: Healing From Church Wounds – Battling the lie, “Your needs don’t matter,” with Jeff and Terra Mattson

Is it selfish or is it healthy to advocate for your needs?  In this episode, the first in our series, Healing From Church Wounds, we address the difference between grace-based systems, where imperfect people can safely express their needs, versus rigid and legalistic systems, often led by unhealthy toxic leaders, where individual needs are ignored or dismissed. How do we learn to honor our own needs and the needs of others at home, at work, and in our community? When do we go to God with our needs and when do we lean into relationships to help us? Join us as we dialogue and unpack this complicated, but important, topic together. 


Jeff and Terra Mattson are the founders of Living Wholehearted, a professional counseling and executive coaching and organizational development firm outside Portland, Oregon, helping leaders live and lead with integrity. Their team of professionals are coming alongside leaders in the home, work, and community, providing confidential and safe places for leaders, their families, and their teams to find healing, wholeness, and health. Jeff and Terra are the co-hosts of the weekly Living Wholehearted Podcast, co-authors of the book, Shrinking the Integrity Gap: Between What Leaders Preach and Live, and are raising their two teen girls. They are also the founders of Courageous Girls, a non-profit dedicated to helping moms walk alongside their daughters at every stage of their growing years (learn more at Bridging the gap between Biblical truth, clinical research, and trauma-informed relational wisdom, the Mattsons are writing, speaking, training, and coaching leaders in both sacred and secular spaces so that there are more wholehearted leaders in a broken and hurting world. 


Check out more at We serve a global community through our Executive Coaching and Wholehearted Leadership Cohorts. Apply today! If you live in Oregon, you can take advantage of our professional counseling team. Consultations are free!


If you are a woman in the greater Portland, Oregon, area and you want a day to slow down, pause, and reconnect with God, join us for a contemplative prayer day at the Living Wholehearted Lodge & Retreat on September 22.  Learn more and register at Limited spots available.




We LOVE that you’ve decided to join us this week for the Living Wholehearted Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the conversation, tips, and resources to help you transform every relationship that matters most to you. If you think this will help someone you know, make sure you send it their way or share on socials. Tag us @living_wholehearted and @terramattson! Don’t forget to FOLLOW/SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss an episode and help spread the word by leaving us some stars on a review. Thanks for partnering with us to help more leaders, just like you, who want to live and lead with integrity at home, work and in the community.  Go to and sign up to receive our free leadership tips and updates delivered to you in our monthly newsletter. And, if you’re a girl mom, check out  


Until next time, be the leader you would follow!


Grateful for you,

Jeff & Terra


To connect with Jeff & Terra Mattson and Living Wholehearted, go to:














Shrinking the Integrity Gap

Shrinking the Integrity Gap e-Course

Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace

Dear Mattsons

Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters




The Living Wholehearted Podcast is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit


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About Living Wholehearted

We define a leader as anyone with a following. Whether you are a parent or a CEO, or both, how you lead matters. When a leader lives with integrity, everyone in their wake benefits. And when they don't, everyone in their wake pays, it's just a matter of time. We are a husband and wife team HELPING LEADERS of all types LIVE WITH INTEGRITY through Biblical, Clinical, and Relational Wisdom. The Living Wholehearted Podcast is filled with grace, hope, and practical tools to help you in every relationship that matters most to you in your home, work, and community. Become a leader who is shrinking their integrity gap between what you say and how you actually live. Join us in the movement of becoming a Wholehearted Leader!

Follow Living Wholehearted on Instagram and on Facebook or visit their website at

About Jeff and Terra Mattson

Jeff Mattson (MA ORL) and Terra Mattson (MA LPC, LMFT) are Christian Parenting spokespeople and the co-hosts of the Living Wholehearted Podcast in the Christian Parenting Podcast Network.


After two decades studying and working in leadership and trauma-informed therapy, Jeff and Terra are bridging the gap between Biblical, clinical, and relational wisdom to help leaders live with integrity in the home, work, and community.


They are the co-founders of Living Wholehearted, a professional counseling and organizational development firm. Terra is the author of Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace and together they co-authored Shrinking the Integrity Gap: Between what Leaders Preach and Live. Jeff and Terra have skin in the game as they raise their two daughters just outside Portland, OR on five acres of old growth woods. There is never a dull moment in the Mattson home!


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