Love Where You Are

August 08, 2023

All Things Sex and Marriage with Shaunti Feldhahn

Welcome to the Love Where You Are podcast! 

I am joined with Shaunti Feldhahn. 

Shaunti is a ground-breaking social researcher, best-selling author, and popular speaker – but a wife and mom first. After receiving a graduate degree from Harvard, and working on Capitol Hill and Wall Street, Shaunti now uses her analytical skill to uncover those little things that can make big differences in lives and relationships.

In this episode,  Shaunti and I dive deep into all things sex and marriage. The timing couldn't be more perfect as I am celebrating my 19th wedding anniversary and Shaunti has released a new book titled “Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference.” 

Stay with me, friend, because this topic is SO important. Even though it feels awkward to talk about, intimacy issues are often the reason for marital discord and even divorce. As Christians, we need to understand God’s design for sex, the importance of physical intimacy and yes, how to teach our kids a healthy and biblical view of this part of the marriage relationship.

Now before the conversation starts, I want to point out that much of this conversation centers around a healthy expression of the intimate relationship between husband and wife. Shaunti and I will address sexual trauma and honor that conversation with care. There is so much to unpack!

Thank you for being here today. Now, let's dive into the conversation! 

You can connect with Shaunt on Instagram

Or check out her website

And you find her new book on Amazon or whereever you buy your books!

 

 

FAVORITE TAKE-AWAYS:

 -Statistics show that intimacy matters a lot even if we think it doesn't. Two humans can have issues but when they are engaging in each other, sending all the happy hormones, it can improve communication and marriage satisfaction. 

-Many people feel like there's something wrong with their intimacy because it doesn't look like what's portrayed in the movies. It turns out there are two different primary types of intimacy: initiative and receptive, and both are normal and healthy! It does not mean something is wrong with you. 

-Approximately 80% of women are insecure about their bodies, while almost 100% of men LOVE their wife's body! Men want their wife, even with all the “flaws” a woman might think she has. She is adored and her husband wants to love her, but many women don't let themselves believe it. 

 

REMEMBER:

-Expectations need to be healthy. 

-You need a problem solving mentality in order to intentionally bring intimacy into your marriage, for the sake of your marriage and for the sake of displaying a healthy role model for your kids. 

-When a kid asks a question about sex, as parents we need to answer calmly so that the child knows it is always okay to ask questions, and there is no fear, fight or flight, brought into that topic. 

 

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