Ep. 386: Building Resiliency in our Children with David Thomas

In this powerful episode of Lets Parent on Purpose, Jay welcomes back Dr. Kathy Koch to discuss how Christian parents can raise gender-confident kids in todays confusing cultural climate. Drawing from her book Raising Gender-Confident Kids, co-authored with Dr. Jeff Myers, Dr. Kathy unpacks the biblical framework behind the Five to Thrivesecurity, identity, belonging, purpose, and competenceand explains how unmet core needs often fuel gender confusion. With compassion and clarity, she equips parents to move from fear to faith, offering practical tools for affirming their childs God-given design while maintaining strong, loving relationships.

This episode explores how stereotypes distort masculinity and femininity, why social contagion and mental health struggles play a significant role in teen gender confusion, and how parents can proactively build confidence in their children from a young age. Dr. Kathy shares wisdom on affirming a childs unique strengths through the Eight Great Smarts, guarding kids from harmful cultural influences, and responding wisely if a child questions their gender identity. If youre a Christian parent seeking biblical guidance, practical strategies, and hope in navigating conversations about gender identity, this episode will strengthen your resolve and remind you that Gods design is both intentional and good.

Resources Mentioned:

Purchase Raising Gender-Confident Kids by Dr. Jeff Myers and Dr. Kathy Koch on Amazon or through the Celebrate Kids online store.

Grab a copy of Five to Thrive by Dr. Kathy Koch on Amazon or through the Celebrate Kids online store.

Get Jay's new devotional, Renewed: The 365-Day Christian Gratitude Journal. Use it solo, with your small group, or as a family for daily Scripture-based prompts to foster gratitude and closeness to Christ.

Text "THINGS" to 66866 for free high-quality resources from Jay, including fun family conversations, a 52-week Scripture memory system, dating questions for kids, marriage tools, and more.

Guest Bio: Dr. Kathy Koch

Dr. Kathy Koch is the founder and president of Celebrate Kids, Inc., and a child development specialist. She is also the author of nine bestselling parent-child enrichment books including her latest book, Parent Differently: Raise Kids with Biblical Character that Changes Culture.For more, visit celebratekids.com.

Key Takeaways from the Episode

Drawing from Lightbulb Moments in Marriage, Dr. Eggerichs and Jay explore transformative "aha" insights for successful and satisfied Christian couples. Here are the highlights:

• The Five Core Needs (Five to Thrive) Security, identity, belonging, purpose, and competence must be rooted in Christ to build lasting confidence.

• Identity Crisis Often Begins with Security Crisis When kids dont know who to trust, they struggle to know who they are.

• Gender Confusion vs. Gender Dysphoria True clinical dysphoria is rare; confusion often stems from deeper identity and belonging issues.

• Celebrate Differences Without Stereotypes Liking math, mechanics, ballet, or sports doesnt redefine gender. Boys and girls can be multifaceted.

• Affirm Early and Specifically Children become who we tell them they are. Use intentional language to affirm their God-given design.

• Guard Against Social Contagion Social media exposure significantly influences teen identity struggles. Protect hearts, minds, and devices.

• Mental Health Matters Many teens struggling with gender identity are also battling anxiety, depression, or isolation. Address root issues first.

• Keep the Relationship Alive When a child questions their gender, prioritize connection, truth, and long-term influence over fear-driven reactions.

• Model Confidence in Gods Design Parents who embrace their own God-given identity create a powerful example for their children.

• Hope for the Future Research shows most teens experiencing gender confusion resolve it naturally by adulthood without medical intervention.

Lets Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.org

More Resources & Links:

Renewed: The 365-Day Christian Gratitude Journal by Jay Holland

Check out www.youthministry.coach

Daily Devotional Podcast Guided by Faith: www.guidedbyfaith.net

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! 

Support Lets Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

In this inspiring conversation, Jay sits down with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, renowned author of the bestseller Love & Respect and his latest release, Lightbulb Moments in Marriage. Released in early 2026, the book explores 12 "aha" biblical perspectives to transform marriages from frustration to fulfillment.

Dr. Eggerichs shares profound insights drawn from over three decades of counseling, scientific research, and Scripture, focusing on how lightbulb moments can break the "Crazy Cycle" of unmet needs in marriage. Whether you're a busy parent juggling kids and chaos or seeking deeper intimacy in your Christian marriage, this episode offers practical marriage advice to help you move forward without hitting the eject button. Topics include love and respect principles, communication breakthroughs, and eternal perspectives on relationships.

Listen as Jay and Dr. Eggerichs discuss five to six key lightbulb moments that could revolutionize your marriage. Perfect for couples looking for Christian marriage counseling tips, biblical marriage guidance, or ways to strengthen family bonds.

Resources Mentioned:

Purchase Lightbulb Moments in Marriage by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs on Amazon or visit loveandrespect.com for more marriage resources, conferences, and tools.

Get Jay's new devotional, Renewed: The 365-Day Christian Gratitude Journal Use it solo, with your small group, or as a family for daily Scripture-based prompts to foster gratitude and closeness to Christ.

Text "THINGS" to 66866 for free high-quality resources from Jay, including fun family conversations, a 52-week Scripture memory system, dating questions for kids, marriage tools, and more.

Guest Bio: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topics of marriage, parenting, communication, and male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, developed the Love and Respect Marriage Conference, which they present to live audiences across the country. He is the founder and president of Love and Respect Ministries, with Sarah serving as vice president.

A former senior pastor of East Lansing Trinity Church from 1980 to 1999, Dr. Eggerichs holds a PhD and has authored numerous books, including the New York Times bestseller Love & Respect, a Platinum and Book of the Year award winner that has sold over 2.3 million copies. His work emphasizes Ephesians 5:33, highlighting how wives need love and husbands need respect to thrive. Emerson and Sarah reside in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and have three grown children. For more, visit loveandrespect.com.

Key Takeaways from the Episode

Drawing from Lightbulb Moments in Marriage, Dr. Eggerichs and Jay explore transformative "aha" insights for successful and satisfied Christian couples. Here are the highlights:

God-Given Value, Not Spouse-Driven: Your worth is rooted in Christ, not your spouse's approval. This frees couples from emotional rollercoasters, especially under parenting stress. Shift your identity to Jesus for lasting peace in marriage.

Seeing Jesus Beyond Your Spouse: Treat your spouse as unto Christ to energize love and respect. Visualizing Jesus "beyond the shoulder" of your partner fosters forgiveness and intimacy, even in resentment-filled seasons.

Clarity in Communication: True understanding beats just talking more. Break the Crazy Cycle by decoding "pink" (love-focused) and "blue" (respect-focused) languages. Use tools like word pictures to turn conflicts into connections, ideal for parents arguing over discipline or roles.

Don't Let 20% Define the 80%: Focus on the 80% goodwill in your marriage rather than the 20% frustrations. Pray to magnify strengths and extend grace, helping busy families offset weaknesses like differing parenting styles.

My Response Is My Responsibility: Embrace personal accountability for freedom and strength in Christ. Overcome fears like rejection to model resilience for your kids, transforming victim mentalities into victorious marriages.

Eternal Perspective: View marriage through God's lens for motivation. Live for His "Well done!" knowing every act of faithfulness has eternal significance, preparing your children for healthy relationships.

These biblical marriage tips can wake up stuck relationships and provide the tools needed for forward momentum in Christian parenting and marriage.

Lets Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.org

More Resources & Links:

Renewed: The 365-Day Christian Gratitude Journal by Jay Holland

Check out www.youthministry.coach

Daily Devotional Podcast Guided by Faith: www.guidedbyfaith.net

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! 

Support Lets Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

***Pick up a copy of Jays new Journal: Renewed: The 365-Day Christian Gratitude Journal 

How do we raise kidsand grow as parentswho dont crumble under pressure but become stronger through hardship?

In Episode 402 of Lets Parent on Purpose, Jay Holland is joined once again by author, missionary, and leadership coach Virgil Tanner for a deep, practical conversation on antifragile faiththe kind of faith Jesus describes as a house built on the rock.

Together, Jay and Virgil explore why anxiety and fragility have become normalized in modern culture, how Christian discipleship often unintentionally reinforces weakness, and what it looks like to intentionally form resilient, grounded followers of Jesus. Drawing from Scripture, neuroscience, leadership formation, and lived experiencefrom COVID lockdowns to pediatric cancer hospital roomsthis episode offers parents a hopeful and actionable framework for nurturing spiritual, emotional, physical, cognitive, and relational health.

This conversation will challenge how you think about discipleship, parenting, and what it truly means to love God with all of who you are.

What Youll Learn in This Episode

• Why storms dont reveal weaknessthey reveal foundations

• How culture has reframed fragility as virtueand why thats spiritually dangerous

• The difference between changing behavior and changing the story we live in

• Why discipleship must be whole-person formation, not just Bible knowledge

• The five dimensions of the soul: spiritual, physical, cognitive, emotional, relational

• Simple daily practices that cultivate resilience and joy

• Why modeling matters more than lecturing when discipling kids

• How families can become houses on the rock for others

• Why noticing emotions comes before managing or forgiving

• How loving God with heart, mind, soul, and strength leads to abundant lifenot burnout

Key Scriptures Referenced

• Matthew 7:2427 The House Built on the Rock

• Luke 10:2528 The Greatest Commandment

• 1 Corinthians 10:31 Doing Everything for the Glory of God

• John 15:11 That My joy may be in you, and your joy may be full

Practical Takeaways for Parents

• Formation happens relationally and communally, not just informationally

• Shared and modeled habits shape kids more than rules

• Emotional maturity begins with naming emotions without judgment

• Gratitude reframes suffering without denying it

• Thriving families talk openly about how theyre really doingnot just how theyre performing

Lets Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.org

About Virgil Tanner

Virgil Tanner is a leadership coach, author, and missionary who has spent years equipping leaders and families to cultivate resilient, Christ-centered lives in high-pressure environments around the world. His work focuses on integrated human flourishing and forming leaders who can endureand thrivethrough adversity.

Resources & Links:

• Renewed: The 365-Day Christian Gratitude Journal by Jay Holland

• Soul Tending: Leadership for Strategic Human Flourishing 

• Check out www.youthministry.coach

• Daily Devotional Podcast Guided by Faith: www.guidedbyfaith.net

• Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! 

• Support Lets Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

***Pick up a copy of Jays new Journal: Renewed: The 365-Day Christian Gratitude Journal

https://amzn.to/3MLWavl

In this episode of Lets Parent On Purpose, Jay Holland sits down with award-winning journalist and bestselling author Lee Strobel to explore the historical, theological, and personal significance of the Christmas story. Together they unpack the evidence for the birth of Jesus, the reliability of the Gospel accounts, misconceptions about the Nativity, and why the Incarnation still changes lives today.

Whether you're a long-time believer, a seeker exploring Christianity, or a parent looking to equip your teens with confidence in their faith, this conversation offers clear, compelling reasons to trust the Christmas story as true historynot just a seasonal tradition.

Key Topics Covered

The Investigative Journalist Who Tried to Disprove Christianity

Lee shares how his journey from atheism to faith began as an attempt to rescue his wife from what he believed was a cult. His two-year investigation into the evidence for Jesus resurrection led him to the unexpected conclusion that Christianity is true.

Why the Nativity Story Is Historically Reliable

Lee walks through:

• Why Lukes and Matthews accounts are independent and trustworthy
• Why different Gospel perspectives strengthennot weakenthe historical case
• How early Christian writings outside the Gospels affirm the virgin birth
• How ancient biography differs from modern biography but remains reliable

What No Room in the Inn Actually Means

Lee reveals:

• The Greek word kataluma likely means guest room, not hotel
• The Holy Family almost certainly stayed with relatives
• Jesus was probably born in the family living space of a first-century home, not a wooden stable
• Why nativity sets with wooden barns and angry innkeepers are historically inaccurate

Why the Virgin Birth Matters theologically

Lee explains why the virgin birth is essential for:

• Jesus being fully God and fully man
• Jesus being born without inherited sin
• Fulfillment of Old Testament prophecy (Isaiah 7:14)
• Preserving core Christian doctrines

Pagan Myth Claims Debunked

Lee dismantles the popular internet claim that Christianity borrowed the virgin birth or resurrection from pagan myths such as Mithras, Dionysus, or Zoroaster. Each is exposed as historically inaccurate or chronologically impossible.

How Investigating Christmas Strengthens Worship

Lee shares how studying the incarnation moved him deeply, reminding him that Christianity is not a legendit's a true story about God entering our world to save us.

God Is Moving Today

Lee and Jay reflect on the remarkable openness to the gospel theyre seeing nationwidefrom churches to college campuses to everyday encounters.

Lets Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.org

About Lee Strobel

Lee Strobel is a former award-winning legal editor for the Chicago Tribune and a New York Times bestselling author of more than forty books, including The Case for Christ, The Case for Faith, The Case for a Creator, The Case for Miracles, and his newest seasonal release, The Case for Christmas.

Originally an atheist, Lee spent two years investigating the evidence for Christianity as a journalist. His search led him to faith in Christ and ultimately into ministry, where he continues to write, speak, teach apologetics, and help people explore the evidence for God.

Lee currently serves as founding director of the Lee Strobel Center for Evangelism and Applied Apologetics at Colorado Christian University. His books have sold millions of copies and inspired films, documentaries, and student editions that help the next generation explore faith with confidence.

Resources & Links:

• The Case for Christmas by Lee Strobel https://amzn.to/49S5BDc

• The Case for Miracles Movie (2024) https://thecaseformiraclesmovie.com/

• Check out www.youthministry.coach

• Daily Devotional Podcast Guided by Faith: www.guidedbyfaith.net

• Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! 

• Support Lets Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

In this episode, Jay sits down with Jeremy Pryor to explore what it looks like to build a thriving multi-generational Christian family in a culture that often prioritizes independence over connection. Jeremy shares the story behind his familys four-generation household, the biblical foundations for treating family as a multi-generational team, and how countercultural habitslike a weekly multi-generational mealcan deepen identity, strengthen relationships, and create long-term family discipleship. Together, they unpack the dangers of hyper-individualism, the impact of technology on kids, and the surprising joy found in reclaiming ancient rhythms such as Sabbath-style meals. Jeremy also offers practical steps for parents who want to introduce meaningful, sustainable traditions that anchor their children in faith, family identity, and gospel-centered community.

Jeremy Pryor is a family identity expert and author of the book Family Revision. His passion is helping families discover and live out their multigenerational mission to further the Kingdom of God.

Key Takeaways

• Why modern Western culture struggles with hyper-individualismand how it harms families.

• The biblical idea of a multi-generational family team and how it differs from the fragile nuclear model.

• Jeremys real-life example of four generations living, working, and discipling together.

• How intentional weekly rhythmsespecially a multi-generational family mealcan transform family unity and identity.

• Practical steps for starting meaningful family traditions that are enjoyable, sustainable, and spiritually rich.

• Why children thrive when they grow up with strong family identity, shared stories, and rootedness.

• How reclaiming ancient practices like blessings, Sabbath-style meals, and storytelling helps parents disciple their kids.

Lets Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Resources & Links:

• Family Meal Template: https://courses.familyteams.com/family-meal

• Family Identity Through Everyday Chores with Jeremy Pryor

• Your Family As A Team with Jeremy Pryor

• Check out www.youthministry.coach

• Daily Devotional Podcast Guided by Faith: www.guidedbyfaith.net

• Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! 

• Support Lets Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/