Called to Love Podcast
Jan 30 • 36:17
Saying Yes to Your God-sized Calling (feat. Cynthia Yanof)
00:00
00:00
Episode:

Saying Yes to Your God-sized Calling (feat. Cynthia Yanof)

January 30, 2024 • 36:17 • Somer Colbert

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast. In this episode, me and my special guest Cynthia Yanof are helping you unpack what it means to say "yes" to that God-sized calling.

Cynthia is an author, podcaster, busy adoptive mom who raised kids in foster care after having her own kids and being a lawyer. Her new book is called, "Life is Messy, God is Good."

Foster care changes you. It is beautiful and it is painful, all at the same time but Cynthia says she can't imagine who her family would be without this in their story. Some people think fostering or adoption is a mighty spiritual and noble thing, but it is very messy and doesn't feel very spiritual in the hardship. It can often feel like you're standing alone, because you have friends and family members asking "Are you sure?" with concern on their faces. You find yourself reluctant to say "yes..."

Cynthia and I also discuss the lies we often combat with giving our reluctant yes to God. There's the constant comparison game and feeling unimpressed with the ordinary, but God is the one who determines success, not the metrics of this world.

Cynthia encourages us to be intentional about the story of our life that we are writing, because it is the story our kids grow up seeing play out: what kind of story do you want them to see?

Thank you so much for listening!

I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Whether you seek to add to your family through foster care, private domestic adoption or you are called to travel internationally, every adoption story is uniquely beautiful. Yet, each shares a common language of calling, loss, and hardship. As Christian parents we have a deep desire to love and shepherd our children well, but it can be challenging to navigate loss, trauma and how to best love and guide our adopted children. One thing is for sure, adoption is more than a process, it is an invitation to go on a holy journey with the Lord and with your family. Like any journey, there will be valleys along with mountain tops and battles along with the beauty. The good news is, what the Lord calls you to, He will equip you for. Wherever you are in your journey, Called to Love is here to bring you a weekly dose of encouragement from the practical, clinical, and Biblical perspective along with personal stories from adoptive parents, adult adoptees and advice from various experts to help your family thrive in your journey and continue to say "yes " to your own call to love.
All Episodes:
Jul 22 • 33:25
How to Promote Emotional and Behavioral Regulation in Your Family

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, I am kicking off a five-part series on emotional and behavioral regulation in your family. We are in the thick of summer but if were being honest, it hardly feels like a summer break. From summer camps, VBSs, traveling, and all other kinds of extracurricular activities that keeps our summers busy, there is hardly a normal day. The routine of the school year is almost completely out the window for many of us. This can be a fun time but it can also be an exhausting and overstimulating time of year. That is why it is the perfect time for me to tell you about these emotional and behavioral regulation tips and strategies, and I will be diving deeper into them over the next four weeks. 

I hope in this episode you will:

  1. Better understand the signs of dysregulation and its impact on family dynamics
  2. Learn how to model emotional regulation and create a calm environment
  3. Discover the importance of maintaining healthy authority and setting boundaries
  4. And, explore practical tools like positive reinforcement and teaching emotional language. 

Here are a few takeaways: 

  • Disregulation affects both parents and children.
  • Recognizing signs of disregulation is crucial.
  • Self-regulation is essential for effective parenting.
  • Creating a calm environment can reduce disregulation.
  • Modeling emotional regulation helps children learn.
  • Validating emotions while maintaining respect is important.
  • Teaching emotional language aids in communication.
  • Establishing boundaries provides safety for children.
  • Encouraging problem-solving fosters ownership in children.
  • Patience and consistency are key in parenting.

Grab your FREE DOWNLOAD: 10 Ways to Promote Emotional and Behavioral Regulation in Your Family

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more! 

Jun 24 • 35:37
Celebrating Special Needs Adoption with Heather Avis

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, I am joined by New York Times best-selling author, speaker, podcaster, advocate for Downs Syndrome kids, and adoptive mom: Heather Avis. Heather started The Lucky Few movement to change the narrative behind children with Downs Syndrome. She says every time her kids walk out her door and into the world, they are walking into a world that does not value them. 

As Heather shares in this podcast episode, if the narrative behind Downs was different it is likely the bio families of her two kids wouldnt have put them up for adoption. Adoption inherently comes with the breaking of what God created to be together: family. There is immense beauty and joy in adoption, in redeeming what has been broken, but we cannot shy away from or fix that brokenness. It can be a hard thing to sit with but it cannot be ignored. Still, Heather advocates not only for the value of children with special needs but she encourages Christian families to consider adoption. This calling may not be easy but it is a calling straight from God - to love the widows and orphans. 

In our discussion, we unpack Heathers incredible adoption story. She shares wisdom from her experience raising not only two children with Downs syndrome but also a bi-racial child that does not have special needs. 

Here are a few takeaways from our conversation: 

  • The importance of letting go of control in parenting.
  • Create an inclusive home environment for children of all backgrounds.
  • Encourage curiosity and understanding differences in children.
  • The significance of affirming children's worth and identity.
  • Recognizing the ongoing struggles of children with disabilities in society.
  • The value of connecting with resources and stories from adoptees and birth families.

Connect with Heather Avis on social media or learn more on her website. 

You can also buy her books! Her new book is titled I Like You So Much

You can also learn more about The Lucky Few Foundation. 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Jun 17 • 40:37
What Your Adopted Teens Need Most with Susan TeBos

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, I am joined by Susan TeBos, an author and adoptive mom to three now-grown children. Susan shares her experiences and insights on parenting adopted teenagers, focusing on the unique challenges they face as they process loss and identity. She emphasizes the importance of creating safe spaces for emotional expression, recognizing warning signs, and building trust through consistent communication. Our discussion highlights the need for adoptive parents to be patient and understanding as their children navigate their feelings and experiences related to adoption.

There is a myth that if you adopt a child straight when they are born, take them home from the hospital, that somehow there is no trauma or loss. This isnt true, and I have first hand experience with it. Our kids may exhibit the trauma in different ways or at different stages of life, but there is trauma due to the loss of ones biological roots. Susan described her kids as being fun and playful during their younger years, but showed more of those signs of trauma as they entered puberty. 

I hope that through this episode, you will be more equipped to support your adoptive or foster kids, even if they havent entered their teenage-years yet. 

Here are a few takeaways from our conversation: 

  • Adopted teens process loss in unique ways.
  • Curiosity can lead to clarity and compassion in parenting.
  • Consistency in communication builds trust with teens.
  • Parents should recognize warning signs of emotional distress.
  • It's important to check in with teens regularly about their feelings.
  • Adoptees often feel alone in their experiences and emotions.
  • Grieving is a process that should be shared with parents.
  • Parenting adopted children is a lifelong commitment.
  • Understanding adoption-related issues is essential for emotional support.

Connect with Susan TeBos on Facebook or Instagram 

You can also check out her website and her book, We've Been There: True Stories, Surprising Insights, and Aha Moments for Adopted Teens 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Jun 10 • 36:58
Helping Kids Navigate Their Adoption Story

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, I am joined by Kate Rietema. Kate is an author, speaker, and mama to five kiddos, some adopted and some biological. In our conversation, we discuss how to navigate sharing your childs adoption story with them. Adoption is beautiful but it comes at a huge loss, a heartbreak for our kids, and it can be hard to share this with them or help them understand it in a way that helps them still feel loved and chosen. 

Stories are powerful and the stories our foster and adoptive kids tell themselves have a huge impact on their identity and worldview; that is why it is crucial we carefully craft a story that rings true Biblically. It is also important to pause when our child wants to tell us something about their past, and be there, listening and supporting.  

Here are a few takeaways from our conversation: 

  • Storytelling helps build strong identities in adopted children.
  • It's important to highlight both the difficult and beautiful aspects of adoption.
  • Creating a culture of openness allows for ongoing conversations.
  • Children often want to hear stories about themselves.
  • Patience is key when introducing sensitive topics.
  • Listening is more important than responding immediately.
  • Resources like life books can help children understand their stories.
  • Trusting in the Lord's plan is essential for adoptive parents.

Connect with Kate on Instagram or check out her website 

You can also find her books on Amazon or wherever you find your books. 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Jun 3 • 32:52
You're Not Too Late: Trusting God's Timing for Your Adoption Story

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, I am joined by a dear friend, author, speaker, and host of the Radical Radiance podcast, Rebecca George. Rebecca is sharing her heart and experiences as we discuss Gods timing and how hard it is to wait. Our hearts are longing, especially in this calling, and that longing isnt bad but it can easily turn into an idol. So, how do we navigate this God-given longing while honoring Him in the waiting? 

The truth is the longing doesnt stop even when weve reached the point weve been praying and waiting for. A new longing takes its place. This is why it is so important we learn how to be present with God in the season Hes put us in right now and trust His timing. 

Here are a few takeaways from our conversation: 

  • You're not too late, trust God's timing.
  • Longing leads to more longing in life.
  • It's important to celebrate others' blessings.
  • You need a support system in your journey.
  • Be honest before the Lord about your desires.
  • Don't miss out on your life today.
  • Learn how to talk about your journey.
  • Your longing is valid and part of your story.

Connect with Rebecca on Instagram or her website! Listen to the Radical Radiance podcast wherever you find your podcasts. 

Check out her brand new book, which sparked todays conversation: Youre Not Too Late: Trusting Gods Timing in a Hurry-Up World

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at somercolbert@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

About the Host

Somer Colbert

Somer Colbert is a writer, speaker and host of the Love Where You Are podcast. She is the Director of Adoption and Foster Care Ministry at Crosschurch and Connected Champion with the Arkansas Baptist Children and Family Ministries where she creates support, awareness and advocacy for families seeking to serve in the areas of adoption and foster care. She creates weekly podcast episodes and resources to equip and empower Christian families to identify their influence for the gospel in every season, live life on mission and share Jesus right where they are.  Somer is passionate about equipping spiritually healthy families and seeing a movement of God's people step into confidence in their ability to change the world around them through the way they love! 

She resides in Arkansas with her husband, three kids and three dogs. She's obsessed with British docudramas and cooking shows and can always be found with a cup of hot tea in hand. Her life has been forever changed by the love of Jesus, marriage to her favorite person, parenting her crazy crew and walking multiple adoption journeys. 

Connect with Somer on Facebook and Instagram

Sign up to receive weekly emails and resources from Somer HERE!

More from Somer →