A Long Journey of Finding God's Goodness in Adoption and Foster Care

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

This week I am joined with author and busy mom, friend of the show, Molly DeFrank! Molly is the proud mom of six kids, ages ranging from teenagers to young ones, both biological and adopted. Her family has also fostered children, and her two adopted kids came first from fostering. 

In this episode, we are talking specifically about raising Godly sons as we live in a world that is telling them their masculinity is toxic and they just need to sit still. Anyone with a little boy knows they have so much energy and cant focus, and while this may be frustrating it is also how God made them. Molly wrote a book titled, Mothering Boys: 8 Things Your Son Needs From You Before He Turns 10 which has inspired this conversation. Especially if you have children in your home who come from foster care, they may have negative relationships to masculinity, either from bad male role models, failed father figures, or even abuse. 

We have such an important role as parents to train up these kids, help shape and root their identity in God, and establish their worldview. Lets talk about the practical ways we can help them be empowered young men for Christ! 

Here are a few key takeaways: 

• Boys face societal pressures that can negatively impact their self-worth.
• Building connection and trust is essential for effective parenting.
• Simple moments can create meaningful connections with boys.
• Unconditional love is crucial for boys to feel safe and accepted.
• Storytelling can help boys understand their identity and values.
• Creating safe spaces for boys to fail fosters resilience.
• Moms should focus on their own well-being to better support their children.

Learn more about Molly on her website or connect with her on social media! 

Interested in her book? Click here to learn more! 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more! 

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

This is the fifth and final episode in this summer series breaking down how to emotionally regulate your household, tips that I have learned and personally used and hope will benefit you. Specifically, this episode wraps up our series as I talk about five ways you can recover after a dysregulation incident. There is so much adrenaline rushing in our kiddos bodies, and maybe even in our own, that it is very unlikely things will go back to normal or what you or the child was doing before the breakdown. So, what do you do? 

I have five methods we use in our household: presence, gentle touch, pressure, going outside, and playing. In this episode, I dive deeper into each one of these with some clear examples as well! 

I would love to hear from you if you begin using these strategies or share ones youve found that work in your household! 

Here are a few key takeaways: 

• Your presence as their safe and trusted caregiver is invaluable.
• Gentle touch can help regulate the central nervous system.
• Pressure can offset pent-up energy in children.
• Going outside and grounding can aid recovery.
• Fun and play are essential for emotional healing.
• Laughter can create positive connections with children.
• Caregivers must discern the right approach for each child.
• Nurturing after dysregulation is crucial for recovery.
• Building trust takes time and patience.

Free Downloadable Resource From Somer: Click Here & Enter Your Email

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more! 

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

We are in the fourth week of my series breaking down how to emotionally regulate your household and I am going to give you tools for de-escalating your child during those meltdown moments. This week has honestly been challenging as Ive been at my own breaking point and needed to use these regulation tools on myself. 

I am going to share my personal experiences dealing with overwhelm and introduce you to the Three Cs of regulation: Cold, Counting, and Choices. And I have had to use all three this week myself! I am going to emphasize the significance of modeling self-regulation techniques, understanding children's fears, and empowering them through choices to foster a sense of control and calmness. 

I would love to hear from you if you begin using these strategies or share ones youve found that work in your household! 

Here are a few key takeaways: 

• You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed.
• Modeling regulation techniques is crucial for effective parenting.
• Cold can help de-escalate intense emotions in children.
• Counting provides a distraction and helps regain focus.
• Choices empower children and reduce power struggles.
• Praise your child's progress to encourage better behavior.
• Understanding fear can help address escalated behaviors.
• Building skills takes time and repetition.
• Children are capable of learning to regulate their emotions.

Free Downloadable Resource From Somer: Click Here & Enter Your Email

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more! 

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

This is our third week in my new series breaking down how to emotionally regulate your household and I am going to give you tools for de-escalating your child during those meltdown moments. This episode is all about the 3 Bs: Breathing, Bilateral Movement, and Beating Heart. These three tools can effectively help you calm your child, build trust and connection, ultimately leading to better emotional regulation and communication within the family. These strategies do not take away the need for guidance, correction, and addressing dysfunctional behaviors but help your child receive your instruction because youve built trust and love. 

I would love to hear from you if you begin using these strategies or share ones youve found that work in your household! 

Here are a few key takeaways: 

• Dysregulated behaviors require a confident caregiver's presence.
• Breathing techniques help reset a child's nervous system.
• Bilateral movement engages both sides of the brain for regulation.
• Heartbeat time provides comfort and connection during distress.
• Practicing tools alongside children builds trust and safety.
• Regulation tools prepare children for better communication and correction.
• Planning and having tools ready can improve family dynamics.

Free Downloadable Resource From Somer: Click Here & Enter Your Email

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more! 

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

This is our second week in my new series breaking down how to emotionally regulate your household. Specifically in this episode, I am explaining the HALT method--Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tireda powerful tool to help manage behavioral escalations. I am also sharing some personal examples and practical insights to guide you in fostering a nurturing environment with a biblical foundation. 

Tune in to learn how addressing basic and felt needs can transform family dynamics and build trust. Don't miss this essential episode for every parent looking to enhance emotional and behavioral regulation at home! 

Here are a few key takeaways: 

• The HALT method is essential for emotional regulation.
• Understanding hunger can prevent behavioral issues.
• Anger is a natural emotion that needs management.
• Loneliness can occur even in crowded spaces.
• Rest is crucial for emotional and physical health.
• Building trust is key to effective parenting.
• Recognizing triggers can help in de-escalation.
• Biblical examples provide insight into caregiving.
• Practical tools can be adapted for individual needs.
• Consistency in approach fosters better relationships.

Free Downloadable Resource From Somer: Click Here & Enter Your Email

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!