This is part two of a four part series to help parents and teens improve their communication and reduce conflict. It’s adapted from a parent/teen retreat and includes small group questions you help you process the material as a family. Today’s episode focuses understanding the emotional love bank each family member has with one another. Once we learn the impact of deposits and withdraws, we can begin to build emotional security in our household relationships. We discuss applying the New Testament One Another’s to our family, identifying one another’s love languages, securing easy wins, and avoiding costly losses in our communication.
Key Points:
1. The Love Bank/Tank represents the amount of positive emotional reserves you have for each relationship.
2. Everyone wants to feel noticed, loved, and appreciated. We get to be the hands, feet, and mouth of Jesus to one another in the home!
3. As a general rule, people need to hear 5-10 affirmations for every cirque, otherwise they become insecure and resentful.
4. The Five Love Languages are helpful in understanding how individuals give and receive love. Your family will benefit if you know which ones each member values the highest: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gift Giving, Words of Affirmation.
5. Go for the easy wins and avoid the easy loses! Parents need to eliminate cut-downs and comparisons. Teens need to understand that lying breaks trust and relationships.
6. A full love bank allows for a secure relationship.
Discussion Questions with your family after listening:
Resources Mentioned:
Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y
For more detail on the Love Bank, check out my article “The Love Bank”: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2017/10/30/the-love-bank/
His Needs Her Needs: Making Romantic Love Last by Willard F Harley Jr. https://amzn.to/3LDu92N
The Five Love Languages: Secrets to Love That Last by Gary Chapman https://amzn.to/3LzKztg
Let's Parent on Purpose is a weekly podcast designed to strengthen your marriage, parenting, and personal relationship with Jesus. Host Jay Holland provides examples from God's word, real life success and failure stories, and lots of humility from his 20+ years of student ministry, parenting, foster parenting, and counseling others. Each episode you'll receive an insight or interview that will help you thrive, not just survive your parenting years.
You can find more from Jay at LetsParentOnPurpose.com or follow him on Facebook and Instagram.
Jay Holland is a follower of Jesus, a husband to Emily, and the biological and adoptive father of four children. For more than two decades Jay has served as a pastor in family and student ministries, and has walked through multiple special needs challenges within his own family.
Jay’s personal and pastoral experiences led him to launch the weekly Let’s Parent on Purpose podcast to equip and empower moms and dads to build thriving families. He serves at Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida and is also on the board of Hopegivers, a ministry that cares for children and churches in India.