Living Wholehearted

May 03, 2022

Ep. 129 : Tips & Tricks to Healthier Conflict with Jay Payleitner

Conflict. You either stir it up or avoid it. But few of us know how to move through it well. What if we told you that conflict is a necessary ingredient for healthy relationships?


Jeff and Terra Mattson interview Jay Payleitner with a focus on his most recent book, “Don’t Take the Bait to Escalate: Conflict is Inevitable. Being a Jerk is Optional.” Jay unpacks four factors anyone can use to help de-escalate a conflict. From marriage to work relationships, this conversation applies to everyday issues. From which peanut butter to buy, to bigger challenges, like when it’s time to walk away from a toxic relationship, Jay uses biblical clarity and forty decades of marriage and relationship ministry to offer us a reframe on how conflict plays an important role in our lives.


Jay Payleitner is one of the top freelance producers for Christian radio and a long-time affiliate of the National Center for Fathering and Iron Sharpens Iron. He is also a prolific speaker and author who has sold more than half a million books.


If you want to grow in your conflict resolution skills, consider one-to-one coaching with our executive leadership coaching team or join one of our monthly group coaching sessions. Sign up for our monthly newsletter where you will learn about all our services at


To connect with Jay, visit:










Don’t Take the Bait to Escalate: Conflict is Inevitable. Being a Jerk is Optional.

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The Power of Agur

What if God Wrote Your Bucket List?


To connect with Jeff and Terra Mattson and Living Wholehearted, go to:

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About Living Wholehearted

We define a leader as anyone with a following. Whether you are a parent or a CEO, or both, how you lead matters. When a leader lives with integrity, everyone in their wake benefits. And when they don't, everyone in their wake pays, it's just a matter of time. We are a husband and wife team HELPING LEADERS of all types LIVE WITH INTEGRITY through Biblical, Clinical, and Relational Wisdom. The Living Wholehearted Podcast is filled with grace, hope, and practical tools to help you in every relationship that matters most to you in your home, work, and community. Become a leader who is shrinking their integrity gap between what you say and how you actually live. Join us in the movement of becoming a Wholehearted Leader!

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About Jeff and Terra Mattson

Jeff Mattson (MA ORL) and Terra Mattson (MA LPC, LMFT) are Christian Parenting spokespeople and the co-hosts of the Living Wholehearted Podcast in the Christian Parenting Podcast Network.


After two decades studying and working in leadership and trauma-informed therapy, Jeff and Terra are bridging the gap between Biblical, clinical, and relational wisdom to help leaders live with integrity in the home, work, and community.


They are the co-founders of Living Wholehearted, a professional counseling and organizational development firm. Terra is the author of Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace and together they co-authored Shrinking the Integrity Gap: Between what Leaders Preach and Live. Jeff and Terra have skin in the game as they raise their two daughters just outside Portland, OR on five acres of old growth woods. There is never a dull moment in the Mattson home!


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