Pairadocs

December 07, 2020

Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse: Sex

You know it coming and you dread it like the plague, but at some point, in every family there comes the need to have “The Sex Talk.”  In this case, however, we’re not talking about the sex discussion with you kids.  This week, the guys delve into the sex talk that every couple needs to have and keep having to address one of the Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse.   

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PROBLEM:

1. Carries more baggage than a 747.  Mention any possible negative and it can be interpreted as a very intimate, personal criticism
2. We don’t talk about our sexual relationship.  Only might be mentioned when something is wrong.  
3. As a rule, sex is the “unmentionable” in 99% of Christian homes
4. Take any other “mutual” activity that a couple engages in, there is discussion about it.  Cooking, exercise, entertainment…  The assumption is that if we’re married, we should simply know what to do and how to do it.  And if things aren’t great, then we suffer in silence, because, “We shouldn’t have to say anything.”

 

SOLUTION:

1. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Cor. 7:3–5)

Each spouse’s body belongs to the other, and a primary function of sex is to serve and bless each other. The ethic that runs throughout the New Testament applies to sex in marriage: we are to selflessly serve, thinking of the other first.

1. Love is putting someone else’s needs above your own.  Sex is a physical manifestation of spiritual and emotional love between a husband and wife.
2. TALK: If we don’t tell our spouse, they won’t know.  Any time we don’t talk it is out of fear or frustration.  Spouse’s shouldn’t fear their partner’s response.
3. Past sexual history and sin, needs to be discussed, learned from, and not avoided
4. Frequency, duration, & arousal all are impacted as you pass through life stages.
5. Talk about having the talk.  Don’t surprise them with it.
6. Make suggestions; not complaints 

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