Empty nester wisdom with Sharon Mankin (letting go, finding purpose and recalibrating expectations with adult kids)

Shes baaacccckkkk!!! The creator and original host of Pardon The Mess podcast, Cynthia Yanof, is back with us today. She is one of the funniest people Ive ever met. Aside from great humor, she brings real life encouragement with biblical truth.

In todays episode, Cynthia and I chat about what matters most in life. As we look ahead to 2026 - where can we spend our time in a way that matters? I remember many moments in life I was all worked up and stressed over things in parenting that really didn't matter. I pray you feel seen and so much needed permission to let things go after this conversation.

Cynthia shares beautiful stories about parenting, faith and friendship in a way that leaves me feeling encouraged. She has such a heart for prayer and is the reason we pray every Monday as a community. Im super thankful for the legacy she left over here at Pardon the Mess!

Enjoy

Courtney 

Chapters:

(00:00) Welcome Back and Podcast Journey

(02:30) Navigating Parenting and New Projects

(05:01) Life with Kids: Balancing Ages and Stages

(08:05) What Really Matters in Parenting

(12:19) The Importance of Rest and Margin

(13:04) Urgency vs. Importance in Parenting

(16:11) Lessons Beyond the Game

(16:27) Navigating Parenting Pressures

(18:48) The Importance of Friendship

(24:55) Faith and Love in Action

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from todays show:

Connect with Cynthia

Messmerized Podcast

Sidetracked Podcast

Feeding the Mouth That Bites You Podcast

Howd I Miss That? (new book) by Cynthia Yanof

Life Is Messy, God is Good by Cythia Yanof

Sign up for Morning Minute

Christian Parenting

Raising Daughters

I Can Only Imagine 2

Open a LearningRX center

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Paul said, Johns baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus. (Acts 19:4)

Do you love the Olympics and watching teams compete? It can be so inspiring to watch a team of swimmers work together in a relay or a track and field star pass his baton to the next runner. Each team member is important. Its a powerful reminder to do our part with excellence.

In the life of John the Baptist, we see a devoted follower of Jesus do his part with great faithfulness. He didnt even know what his effort and work would mean in the end, but he obeyed and trusted. John spread the good news of the coming Messiah so that people were ready for him; his entire ministry was planting seeds in the hearts of the people. Some even asked if he was the Messiah, but he always pointed people back to Christ (John 1:1928).

Its fun to imagine that somehow our own stories of faith are a part of one giant race with batons passing through generations. When we teach our kids about Jesus, we are planting seeds in their hearts. We dont know what those seeds will grow into, but we can trust that they will take the baton we pass to them and continue to pass it to others.

Lets pray that our kids trust their calling over their lives and realize their greater impact in Gods big story.

Jesus, thank you that we get to be part of your greater story. Lead __________ to hear your call on their life. Help them to worry less about earthly things and more about trusting you. Give them opportunities to plant seeds in the hearts of people around them and be obedient in joyfully sharing your good news! Amen.

If you love this episode and dont have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, its not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And dont forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Did you know that once a month we are doing a mentor episode? We will cover a different topic each month in hopes to provide helpful content for you and your local mentor.

1) listen to the episode

2) talk about it with a mentor or friend that is a season ahead of you

If youre just getting started - dont miss the previous episodes:

• My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship Matters
• My Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with God
• My Virtual Mentor: Personalities and Temperaments
• My Virtual Mentor: Stewardship & Generosity 
• My Virtual Mentor: Time Management & Creating Margin

Todays episode comes to you in two parts. The first episode is with author, speaker and amazing mom Sara Hagerty. She has such a genuine heart to keep her life rooted in Jesus. We talk all about how identity is a challenging topic for us as moms. We care so much about how we do as moms - and we can get really rattled if it doesnt go well. Our identity can quickly become rattled if we have it tethered to the wrong source.

I also wanted to release a second episode today that I believe will practically help you think through identity. The week that I recorded Sara on this topic, my own heart was wrestling with what God says about our identity. I stumbled across this message by pastor Preston Morrison and it rocked my world. I got his permission to re-air it for you. Do not miss the truth and clarity that Preston provides around our identity in Christ. 

My favorite part is the humility that Sara brings to the table. She is so honest with how hard motherhood can be and she invites us to bring God into every single disappointment and hard circumstance. She urges us to lean into the very things that drive us crazy. 

Enjoy!

Courtney

(02:59) Navigating Motherhood and Identity

(05:57) The Struggles of Motherhood

(08:59) Finding God in the Chaos

(12:05) The Unseen Work of Motherhood

(15:00) Embracing the Struggles

(17:56) The Impact of Gods Attributes

(18:20) Understanding God Through Adoration

(21:43) The Journey of Self-Discovery and Identity

(24:52) The Importance of Limitations in Parenting

(28:29) Navigating Identity Beyond Achievements

(32:52) Finding Beauty in Boundaries

(36:39) Embracing Loss and Suffering in Motherhood

MY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (IDENTITY)

Scripture to memorize:

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Scriptures for prayer and study:

Verses on Identity

Books for further study:

• In His Image  Jen Wilkin
• Made for More: An Invitation to Live in Gods Image Hannah Anderson

Discussion questions:

Have you struggled with your identity?

In what seasons have you questioned your identity?

Who does God say that we are?

Is there a time you attached what you do to your identity? 

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from todays show:

Connect with Sara

Unseen by Sara Hagerty

Adore by Sara Hagerty

The Gift of Limitations by Sara Hagerty

Preston Morrison podcast, The Leaders Cut

Part 1 episode with Sara Hagerty

Resources from Titus 2 Mentoring

Sign up for Morning Minute

Christian Parenting

Raising Daughters

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Did you know that once a month we are doing a mentor episode? We will cover a different topic each month in hopes to provide helpful content for you and your local mentor.

1) listen to the episode

2) talk about it with a mentor or friend that is a season ahead of you

If youre just getting started - dont miss the previous episodes:

• My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship Matters
• My Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with God
• My Virtual Mentor: Personalities and Temperaments
• My Virtual Mentor: Stewardship & Generosity 
• My Virtual Mentor: Time Management & Creating Margin

Todays episode comes to you in two parts. The first episode is with author, speaker and amazing mom Sara Hagerty. She has such a genuine heart to keep her life rooted in Jesus. We talk all about how identity is a challenging topic for us as moms. We care so much about how we do as moms - and we can get really rattled if it doesnt go well. Our identity can quickly become rattled if we have it tethered to the wrong source.

I also wanted to release a second episode today that I believe will practically help you think through identity. The week that I recorded Sara on this topic, my own heart was wrestling with what God says about our identity. I stumbled across this message by pastor Preston Morrison and it rocked my world. I got his permission to re-air it for you. Do not miss the truth and clarity that Preston provides around our identity in Christ. 

My favorite part is the humility that Sara brings to the table. She is so honest with how hard motherhood can be and she invites us to bring God into every single disappointment and hard circumstance. She urges us to lean into the very things that drive us crazy. 

Enjoy!

Courtney

(02:59) Navigating Motherhood and Identity

(05:57) The Struggles of Motherhood

(08:59) Finding God in the Chaos

(12:05) The Unseen Work of Motherhood

(15:00) Embracing the Struggles

(17:56) The Impact of Gods Attributes

(18:20) Understanding God Through Adoration

(21:43) The Journey of Self-Discovery and Identity

(24:52) The Importance of Limitations in Parenting

(28:29) Navigating Identity Beyond Achievements

(32:52) Finding Beauty in Boundaries

(36:39) Embracing Loss and Suffering in Motherhood

MY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (IDENTITY)

Scripture to memorize:

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Scriptures for prayer and study:

Verses on Identity

Books for further study:

• In His Image Jen Wilkin
• Made for More: An Invitation to Live in Gods Image Hannah Anderson

Discussion questions:

Have you struggled with your identity?

In what seasons have you questioned your identity?

Who does God say that we are?

Is there a time you attached what you do to your identity? 

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from todays show:

Connect with Sara

Unseen by Sara Hagerty

Adore by Sara Hagerty

The Gift of Limitations by Sara Hagerty

Preston Morrison podcast, The Leaders Cut

Part 2 episode with Preston Morrison 

Resources from Titus 2 Mentoring

Sign up for Morning Minute

Christian Parenting

Raising Daughters

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this? (Esther 4:14 NLT)

Esther is one of only two books of the Bible named after a woman, which is pretty incredible! Esther was an orphaned Jew living in a foreign land. She was unlikely to make an impact on history, but God had other plans! She was so beautiful that she was brought to the king and became his queen.

When a plot to destroy the Jewish people was uncovered, Esther had a choice: Should she keep quiet, or tell her husband and risk her life? It was then that her cousin, who raised her, asked the famous question: Perhaps you were born for such a time as this?

Its not always easy to step into our purpose. Like Esther, we may find ourselves in situations where doing the right thing feels risky. But when that purpose comes from God, its nearly impossible to say no to because it feels so right and everything falls into place.

What was your child born to do? We dont fully know, and the answer will unfold and change with time. But we do know that God chose you to be the parent of your child and to live in this time for a reason. There will be a moment (or many moments) in your childs life where they realize they were made for something. Maybe its landing the right job, maybe its starting a family, or maybe its being in the right place at the right time. It could be a call to ministry or stepping out in faith to use their time, talents, and treasures to glorify God and serve others. We can be encouraging parents that point them back to Scripture and the promise that God created them for a good purpose and has good plans for their future.

This week, lets pray that our kids grow in their faith, knowing that God made them for a reason, that they will discover their purpose and step into it with confidence, knowing God is with them every step of the way.

Jesus, thank you for making all of us for a purpose. Help __________ rely on you and seek your word to help them find your purpose and plan for their life. Give them the faith to step forward in obedience, knowing that if you call them to something, you will equip them. And may they always remember that they were created for such a time as this. Amen.

If you love this episode and dont have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, its not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And dont forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org