Empty Nester Wisdom with Heidi Miller (How to parent with anxiety)

Are you going through an unwanted divorce? Or have a friend or family member going through an unwanted divorce? This powerful episode with Lysa TerKeurst is for you. Im so thankful that Lysa is using her own divorce experience, healing journey and biblical understanding to encourage other women.

Lysa shares about the significant challenges of an unwanted divorce. She shares about the unhelpful comments and verses thrown at people that choose divorce. She walks us through the powerful combination of theology and therapy and how those two things were key in her healing journey.

This episode isnt really for the person trying to determine IF they should divorce, its really for those that are already walking through the divorce from a destructive marriage and how to move forward. 

My favorite part is at the very end when she talks directly to the woman walking through an unwanted divorce. Her words are so tender and so encouraging. I am praying you will feel so seen. 

Enjoy!

Courtney

Chapter

(02:46) The Need for a New Book

(05:23) Understanding Divorce and Its Impact

(08:19) Theological Insights on Divorce

(11:05) Resources for Support

(13:47) Identity and Self-Worth

(15:19) Coping Strategies During Divorce

(15:39) Finding Wholeness After Divorce

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from todays show:

Connect with Lysa

Surviving an Unwanted Divorce - new book

Surviving an Unwanted Divorce - podcast series

Emily Lex Watercolor

What to Say and How to Say it to Your Teen

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

The Biggest Story Holy Bible for Kids

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

But Ruth replied, Dont ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. (Ruth 1:16 NLT)

We often hear Ruth 1:16 recited at weddings, and rightfully so; it is a beautiful verse about family and loyalty. When Ruths husband died, she decided to stay with her mother-in-law, Naomi, even though it meant leaving behind life as she knew it. Eventually she married again. Ruths new husband was a good and kind man named Boaz, and she remained faithful in caring for her mother-in-law.

It would have been easy for Ruth to leave Naomi and start over. In fact, that is what Naomi tried to convince her to do. But Ruth was loyal to Naomi and to God, and she loved them both. Because of her kindness, God gave her a new family and a special place in his storyshe became great-grandmother to King David, making her part of the lineage of Jesus. God can do anything with anyone when they are faithful.

As parents, we have the opportunity to model the value of family, show our kids what it means to honor God by honoring each other, and raise our kids up to be loyal and kind. We would do anything for our kids, but even so, there will be times in parenting when it feels like your kids would choose to follow anyone else but you. In those moments, lean in and lavish them with love. We get to show them the love of Jesus in the way we parent them! Eventually that love will prepare them for their own family, and hopefully they will be as loyal to them and to God as Ruth was.

This week, lets pray that our kids love and serve their current and future families with loyal hearts.

Father God, you are the perfect father. Help __________ to love and serve their family. May they be loyal, kind, and faithful. May they trust in my guidance as a parent. And most importantly, may they trust in you as their perfect parent and stay faithfully devoted to you all the days of their life. May they never know a day without being in your presence. Amen.

If you love this episode and dont have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, its not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And dont forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Did you know that once a month we are doing a mentor episode? What does that mean? I have come across a lot of moms that desperately want a mentor, but dont have time to read a book. So! Each month, there will be a podcast topic and your only job is to:

1) listen to the episode

2) talk about it with a mentor or friend that is a season ahead of you

If youre just getting started - dont miss the first couple episodes:

• My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship Matters
• My Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with God

When I was mentored as a young mom, the topic of "personalities" was one of the most impactful lessons. I learned to study myself, my spouse and my kids and the benefits have been huge in my life. I am still learning all of us! 

On todays episode, we get to hear from author, speaker and podcaster Karen Stubbs. Karen is the founder of Birds On A Wire Moms and has ministers to thousands of moms all over the world. She is passionate about challenging moms to experience motherhood in the way God designed it.

Karen gets practical about how to learn temperaments and personalities for ourselves, our spouses and each of our kids. She also reminds us that we can partner with the Holy Spirit to refine us and grow us - so that we look more and more like Him. 

If youd like to dive deeper into this topic, you will find discussion questions, book referrals, personality tests, scripture verses and more below.

Enjoy!

Courtney

MY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (INTIMACY WITH GOD)

Scripture to memorize:

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Psalm 139:14-15

Scriptures for prayer and study:

Galatians 5:16, 22-23

Isaiah 64:8

Ephesians 2:10

Books for further study:

Wired That Way - Marita Littauer

A Grown-Ups Guide to Kids Wiring by Kathleen Edelman

Personality Plus for Couples by Florence Littauer

Personality Plus for Parents by Florence Littauer

Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The Road Back to You Ian Cron, Suzanne Stabile

Discussion questions:

What are some of your strengths and weaknesses? And your husbands?

How can you balance each other out as a couple?

How did God wire each of your kids? Strengths and weaknesses?

What temperaments do you need to be aware of in each kid - as you parent them?

(02:48) Understanding Personalities and Temperaments

(05:38) The Importance of Knowing Yourself

(08:26) Navigating Love Languages in Relationships

(11:09) The Role of Awareness in Personal Growth

(14:05) Integrating Faith with Personality Insights

(15:07) Understanding Personality Types in Parenting

(17:59) Navigating Different Personalities in Children

(24:18) The Importance of Personality Awareness in Parenting

(29:48) Embracing the Journey of Motherhood and Grandmotherhood

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from todays show:

My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship Matters

My Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with God

Connect with Karen

Birds On A Wire

FREE personality quiz from Karen

Enneagram Assessment

Spiritual Gift Assessment 

Raising Boys & Girls Personality Series - start HERE

Wired That Way - Marita Littauer

A Grown-Ups Guide to Kids Wiring by Kathleen Edelman

Personality Plus for Couples by Florence Littauer

Personality Plus for Parents by Florence Littauer

Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The Road Back to You Ian Cron, Suzanne Stabile

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Father Yourself First

NIV Application Bible

The Biggest Story Holy Bible for Kids

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? (James 2:14)

Rahab is an unlikely hero. She started as a Canaanite prostitute, meaning she was a fallen woman living in a fallen city, and she eventually was listed in the genealogy of Jesus. Rahabs life shows us that while faith is not about our works, a bold faith is actively lived out.

When two Israelite spies came to Rahabs home in Jericho, she protected them because she had heard about the things God had done. She turned away from her religion and her culture and put her trust in God. Because of this, Rahab and her family were spared when Jericho fell. In order to be saved, she had to place a scarlet cord on her window. Rahab obeyed this command knowing that she had to obey God in order to be saved. Her faith led her to action.

Faith in Jesus transforms every part of us, including our actions. Our kids will have many chances to live their faith out loud. Sometimes that will mean taking a risk or standing out from the crowd. It might look like standing up for someone who is being picked on, leaving a party, putting an end to a rumor, or speaking Gods truth to someone they care about. We can encourage our kids to let Gods truth shape their actions, because when we do that, God does incredible things.

This week, lets pray that our kids move beyond simply believing in God in their hearts, and move toward acting boldly on that belief.

Father God, help __________ to believe in you so deeply that their actions are changed. May their life reflect your love, grace, and goodness. When its easier to blend in, give them the faith to stand up for you and your ways. May they live a life that glorifies and expands your kingdom. Amen.

If you love this episode and dont have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, its not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And dont forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

I love the topic of family legacy! The Robertsons surely have made a name for their family that is all about faith. Joining me today on the podcast is author, speaker and TV star Korie Robertson. She is so genuine and the love that she has for her family is so evident. You have likely seen the Robertson family through their show Duck Dynasty but I love that we hear about Kories side of the family too. What a tremendous legacy of faith!

We chat about her experiences and insights on grandparenting, family legacy, and parenting adult children. She has always put an emphasis on kindness and strength in her home. What are some virtues or values that you hope to pass down through the generations? I love that her family called them the Howard Principles for Life.

My favorite part is when she talks about the importance of community and church as you are raising a family. I love that reminder because it is easy to isolate ourselves these days and we need each other.

And its almost November, which means my Christmas decorations are going up!!!

Enjoy!

Courtney

Chapters

(00:00) Embracing the Grandma Life

(02:49) Family Legacy and Heritage of Faith

(05:43) Intentional Parenting Values

(08:27) The Importance of Kindness and Strength

(11:19) Navigating Parenting Challenges

(14:04) Mentorship and Community Support

(16:56) Parenting Adult Children

(19:50) Encouragement for Young Moms

(22:45) Faith, Hope, and Love in Uncertain Times

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from todays show:

Connect with Korie

Duck Dynasty: The Revival on Hulu 

Strong and Kind by Korie Robertson 

The Blind - movie based on Phil and Kays story

LO Sister - Sadies ministry

Quote by Dr Amen on guilt

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Operation Christmas Child

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org