Growing Connected

Today were discussing two questions sent in from a mom, and we suspect that most parents can relate to the first onehow do we deal with the eye rolls, sighs, and other junk behaviors that can accompany the tween and teen years? We talk about how frustrating interactions often indicate that our kids have reached a new stage of development and how modeling respect teaches them to understand and express themselves better over time. In the second half, we discuss tips for blending an adoptive or foster child into your family. Author Kelle Hampton joins the conversation as we explore ways to foster healthy communication and help kids feel secure, even amid transition.

In this episode, were discussing a question from a mom wondering how to help her husband relate to their tween girl. We talk about dads and daughters and how this question points to an even bigger issuehow parents can respond to kids who feel different from or even difficult to them. Attachment science points us to two mirroring needscomfort and delightthat we can use to connect to our kids, even when connection feels hard.

Heres the question

My husband has started struggling with his interactions with our almost 13-year-old daughter. He just cannot relate to her emotions, feelings, and experiences anymore. I would love to know how to help him build a better relationship with her, so he does not continue to struggle.

In this episode, were discussing a question about a 13-year-old struggling with anxiety. Fortunately, anxiety is one of the most treatable mental health issues to work with, but doing that takes good information to help us face fear head-on. Social anxiety, in particular, can really take hold between the ages of 12 to 14, and we talk about why that is, what to expect, and ways to respond if youre concerned. Author Kelle Hampton joins us to explore how to help our kids take charge of anxiety rather than let it control and manage them.

Heres the question:

"With Covid and the transition into middle school, the past year has been hard on my 13-year-old. He seems to be reluctant to do things he used to enjoy, like getting together with friends or going to soccer practice. I honestly feel stuck, because sometimes when he tells me he doesnt want to do something because hes feeling anxious, I wonder if hes exaggerating and just trying to get out of things. And if, in the long run, it would be better for me to try to force him to participate in activities until he feels more comfortable. As a mom, how should I know when to press in and when to back off. And do you have any advice for how to help a kid who seems paralyzed by his fears and anxiety? Especially when he says he doesnt want to go to therapy or learn any coping skills. He tells me he just wants to be left alone."

Anyone else ever disagree with your partner over a parenting issue? We dont think its just us, and weve seen how these disagreements can cause friction in families. In this episode, we discuss a question from a mom wondering how to move forward when she and her husband see things differently about their daughter and ADHD. Jeffrey shares strategies he uses in the therapy office to get couples back to connection, and we talk about the pros and cons of diagnoses and labels for kids, as well as things to know when considering ADHD.

The tween and teen years can bring with them unexpected joy, as well as to-be-expected ups and downs. In this episode, we talk about emotions and hormones and three huge transitions happening within the teenage brain. Understanding whats going on with our kids bodies really helps all of us! Heres the question:

 My kids are entering middle school this year. My son is 13 going into 7th grade and my daughter is 11 going into 6th grade. And Ive noticed in the last couple of years that the changes theyve been going through are reminding me of when they went from infancy to toddlerhood. Theres just so many changes and its all happening so fast. And Im trying to hold this space of curiosity about them, and Im wondering the best way to be with them and the best way to usher them through these enormous changes. It sometimes feels overwhelming and sometimes I really dont know what the right next thing is. So, Im just curious about your perspective on that.