A few days ago, I was spending a little time journaling in my one-line-a-day book. The question was something like, “how would your mom describe you as a mom?” The first word that popped into my head was relaxed.
And I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
I don’t mean relaxed as in unaware and having no rules or structure for my toddler. I mean relaxed in how I feel, react, and respond.
The term isn’t for my method in the way I parent or with my attachment style—it’s the mindset I want to live in every day.
A quick online thesaurus search will show you the opposite of relaxed is anxious, insecure, uneasy, uptight, unsettled, or worrisome—not how I want to be described.
So I decided that instead of being a helicopter mom, a lawnmower mom, or the one I recently heard, the jackhammer mom, I am going to be the relaxed mom.
When I’m relaxed, I’m more present.
When I’m relaxed, I’m more joyful.
When I’m relaxed, my patience lasts longer.
And as a Christ follower, I know my relaxed vibe isn’t just my willingness to remain calm and collected. It’s the real peace that passes all understanding and enters your life when you are sealed with the Holy Spirit.
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
I’ve loved this passage of Scripture for a long time. It hits differently as a parent because there is always something new to worry about.
But I know I can trust God, that He is near to me, andI can come to him with my worries, anxieties, uneasiness, and insecurities.
I can exchange my worry and anxiety with God’s peace, knowing that he is a good father who takes care of his children.
In this season of my life as a mother of a toddler, it’s an invitation to have a relaxed countenance when it comes to parenting.
A great time to accept that invitation to the “relaxed mom club” is at Christmas time!
The older we get, the more complicated Christmas becomes. Between family obligations, buying gifts, budgeting, disrupted schedules, grief and loss, setting an Elf scene every night, and trying to give our kids the best Christmas ever, the holidays can be a hotbed of anxiety when it’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year.
With that, I give you “The Relaxed Mom’s Guide” to a joyful Christmas!
A relaxed mom knows that Christmas is not a competition.
There are a lot of cases where it’s great to be competitive. Christmas is not one of those times. Christmas is not about outdoing your friends or the influencers on Instagram when it comes to presents and how you wrap them, your home decor, what kind of food you make for a party, or your Christmas fashion choices.
Instead, you can feel confident in the things you love and enjoy doing with your family. It’s so much easier to feel relaxed and assured when you can enjoy what you have instead of worrying about someone else’s Christmas experience.
A relaxed mom knows where to put in the work and what to release.
If you’re anything like me, then you only execute about half of what you set out to do. I always think I can get more done in the small bursts of time that are available to me.
You probably have multiple class Christmas parties that need treats and teacher gifts to assemble. You want to make a signature homemade candy to package beautifully and distribute to friends, while also making homemade ornaments, and not miss a single fun experience. Just me? I didn’t think so.
It’s just too much, honestly. And the good news is that you don’t have to worry about it all. Sometimes store-bought is the answer. Teachers appreciate gift cards just as much as they do homemade gifts. Sometimes not making a dish for a function is what you need to do. And not every inch of your house has to be decorated.
Do what you can and release the rest.
A relaxed mom knows that presence matters more than presents.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to give gifts to your children. Gift giving is a love language, after all. But it’s easy for the joy of gift giving to be drained when you focus on the wrong things. Instead of worrying about getting the perfect presents, focus more on how you show up in quality time with your family.
When it comes to presents, remember Christmas is not a competition. The only way you need to compete is to “outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10).
These are the four ways I’m bringing a relaxed mindset into the holidays this year. I want to focus on the gift of Christ and not get too caught up in things that just aren’t important. I want my son to see me fully enjoying the time we spend together, not see me frantically moving from event to event.
I’m excited about a relaxed mom’s Christmas and I hope that you’ll join me.
Wishing you the merriest and brightest days!
Consider a few extra resources:
