“For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace” (John 1:18 NIV).
As I sat with a blank document in front of me, having not written in months and wondering what made me worthy of claiming anything gracious or holy, I looked back at some old writings from a different season of life.
It was one of those moments similar to not knowing what to read in your Bible, so you just open it and hope that something jumps out. I’m not going to say that it always ‘works,’ but I think that God does listen to our genuine desperation for intervention.
Tonight, as I scrolled through old blogs and drafts, I found a sweet little letter to the future Sydney. I forgot that I wrote it, but God knew back then that I would need it now.
A letter from the past
It says this—
“Dear Future Sydney, Let your heart feel grace. Give your mind peace to know you are doing well without approval from outside sources. Remember that the enemy will not go away and mostly, people won’t see you do good. Unfortunately, they will remember the days you were less than admirable or fell victim to temptation. But rest—remember that the one who holds your future sees the good in you. He defines you as higher and better than your mistakes. And for that, you can guard your heart against the other lies. They do not get to hold you or your heart in chains. They do not get to define you as less than a daughter of Christ. There is true freedom in only allowing yourself to be held captive by the one true king. Because when he holds us, he guards us, just like we do our own children. Remember this when you feel weary of doing good and depleted by doing wrong. You are more. Sincerely, the *past* Sydney.”
Remember who holds your future
I am not sure what stage of life you are in. I am not sure if you are a working parent who is looking for reassurance that you are doing enough at home when the days seem so long. I am not sure if you’re the parent of a teen who seems to disagree with every bit of guidance you offer.
Maybe you are the parent of busy toddlers who destroy everything in their path and leave messes that feel like more than just toys on the floor. Maybe you are searching for who you are outside of work and kids.
Or, more likely, you are like me regardless of the age of your children or your work status. You are human. You are trying to juggle all of the responsibilities, everyone’s feelings (usually excluding your own), chores, work, marriage or relationships, and all of the other obligations we have or think we have.
I realized that my past self was preparing me to remember that, now, it is OK to slow down and give myself grace.
Grace is the safest place for truth, honesty, and vulnerability. I am learning that we make more mistakes in the chaos. Mistakes we could have avoided if we would have taken a few more minutes to remember who holds our future and guards our hearts.
Parents are children of God, too
It is important to remember that we, too, are children. We are quick to give our offspring grace upon their choices and obstacles but quicker to scrutinize our own mishaps no matter how big or small.
Today, you have permission to look at your own life through the eyes of a parent and not a judge. Look at yourself knowing that you have a father who does not grow weary of doing good and never allows you to be depleted from doing wrong.
Just like we rebuild our babies’ or teens’ confidence and allow them space to learn, God is doing that with us. He is rebuilding our regression, and he is gracefully giving us room for growth.
Remember that you have the go ahead to be a child, a child of God, and to in turn model the parenting he provides to us to the best of our worldly ability.
Consider a few extra resources:
