The Child of a Murderer becomes an Orphan Leader with Dr. Samuel Thomas

For our last episode of the year, and of the Stories of Hope series, you're going to hear the story of Puja, a girl who was taken into a Hope home after her mother murdered her father. Her life is a testament to God's transformative power through Christ. If you enjoy this conversation with Dr. Samuel Thomas, check out the new podcast, Stories of Hope, debuting on Jan. 6.

Show Highlights

Dr. Samuel Thomas is known throughout India as a leading humanitarian. As president and CEO of Hopegivers, Dr. Thomas helps connect those with a ministry heart in the western world with those in greatest need inIndia and South Asia. The ministry of Hopegivers, started by Dr. Thomas’ father M.A. Thomas, has planted over 70,000 churches and cared for more than 10,000 orphans in the last sixty years. Dr. Samuel, along with his wife Shelly, have two sons, Timothy and Stephen.

I met Puja through Dr. Samuel when I visited Hopegivers in India. He first met her mother when Dr. Samuel himself was in jail. Puja's mother was brought in for murdering her husband who had been abusing her for years. The mother recognized Dr. Samuel as someone who often came to her village as a missionary. Knowing that she would be imprisoned for the rest of her life, the mother asked Dr. Samuel to have someone from Hopegivers to take her ten-year-old child into their orphanage.

When Dr. Samuel was released from prison, he was finally able to meet Puja. She was grateful for being taken care of at the orphanage, with the ambition to become a policewoman so that she could ensure that her murdered father gets the justice he deserves.

Years later, when Dr. Samuel encountered her again, Puja wanted to become a missionary. She said, her time at the orphanage had taught her to forgive her mother and that Jesus had died for her. She wanted to share that good news with others. She is now in charge of 118 boys at an orphanage.

Puja now hopes that her mother can make bail and be released from prison so she can come help at the orphanage. That is the joy of knowing Christ.

There is nothing that you've been through that Jesus can't redeem.

Resources Mentioned

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

 

by Jay Holland

A Soviet Refugee, a Harvard Grad, and a Disciple of Jesus with Andrew Engleman

The hand of God is absolutely sovereign. Even if you find yourself in circumstances that do not make sense to you, God is moving and God is working. He is not done with you, your children, and your family.

Show Highlights

Andrew grew up post World War 2 Russian Speaking Soviet refugee. He spent his childhood in a refugee camp in Australia before immigrating to the United States in 1958 as a teenager. His education and business career in Chemicals and Plastics took him to San Francisco, New York, Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong, Harvard Business School, and throughout South America. Most importantly, he became a follower of Jesus through the young woman who has been his wife for fifty years, Andrea. The Engelmans have two daughters, five grandchildren, and split their time between their south Florida home and the northern states where their children and grandkids live.

As a refugee in Australia at the young age of five, Andrew grew up in a situation that was far different and more difficult than that of most children. Through persistence and determination, he made it to the US as a teenager. His stint in the Peace Corps brought him to Iran.

It was in New York that he met his future wife, Andrea, who he saw one day at the rooftop of their apartment building, reading the Book of Romans. That's when he started to commit himself to the Lord.

It was important for Andrew for his children to be believers and for them to marry believers as well so that they would have someone to go through stresses and strains of a secular world with. 

As a business man, Andrew also noticed how the normal standards and principles for people to get ahead in the business world are contrary to the ways of God. 

My reliance on my faith and my wife sharpened me in those times when my flesh would prevail over my spirit.

Looking back on his experiences, Andrew says, "If there's a message that I can give... it's for young people to be relentless in the pursuit of something that interests them, to put themselves in situations of deep water so they can understand their full potential, and to be in the word as much as possible."

Andrew's life experiences are not ones that would usually lead towards the Lord, but it's obvious that the Lord was already moving in his life, leading him eventually to become a believer. Because his own spiritual grow was slow, Andrew values the idea of starting children's spiritual growth early and young.

 

Put your children in the environment of youth groups and fellowships with other believers so they can develop their Christian worldview. 

 

[bctt tweet="My reliance on my faith and my wife sharpened me in those times when my flesh would prevail over my spirit." username="jaydholland"]

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

 

by Jay Holland

Losing a Child Isn't the Last Word with Diana Grounds

Diana Grounds is one of my heroes. As a parent, she has endured more trials and challenges than most of us ever will. Yet, she is still filled with the joy of Jesus like very few people I have ever known and she is one of the best examples of keeping hope and faith through it all.

Show Highlights

Diana Grounds is a mother of four children, two of which have proceeded her to heaven. She and Charles, her husband of 53 years, have followed Jesus through the death of one son to leukemia, another daughter to a heart condition, the brain aneurysms of a third child, and a terrifying path of drugs and rebellion for a forth child. Diana’s hope in Jesus radiates through her severe trials. She has served in various roles at Fellowship Baptist Church in Barboursville, WV, and is a national speaker with the Christian Women’s Connection.

Through everything Diana had been through with each of her children, she finally came to realize: "I have to take God at his word." Trust in Him and lift up to Him what we have no control over.

Clinging to the words in the Bible, she learned, "I did not have to be afraid because He is God. I don't have to be dismayed or discouraged because He is my God." God will provide the strength and help you need.

Just experiencing one of these challenges is overwhelming enough, but the difficult situations strengthened Diana's faith in God's promises. "I could praise the Lord even with our son and daughters' illnesses."

It was harder to deal with her eldest daughter becoming addicted to drugs because she felt somehow responsible for it as a parent. To overcome this, Diana actively looked for ways to help her daughter towards recovery. She ended up having her daughter arrested and committed to a home. It was a difficult decision to make, but a necessary one. "I was able to place her in God's care, expecting Him to accomplish what I couldn't." Knowing that God could do what she could not released a lot of guilt from Diana as a mother.

No parent wants to – or should – have to bury their own child. Diana had to bury two. Still, she has also witnessed big and small moments of God's blessings. "His grace is sufficient."

[bctt tweet="I could praise the Lord even with our son and daughters' illnesses." username="jaydholland"]

Resources Mentioned

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

 

by Jay Holland

From the Battlefield to U.S. Congress with Rep. Brian Mast

To begin our new series, Stories of Hope, I can't think of a more hopeful testimony to begin with than Rep. Brian Mast who survived an IED explosion in Afghanistan, overcame the loss of both his legs, and now serves in the United States Congress.

Show Highlights

Congressman Brian Mast is in his second term representing the 18th Congressional District of Florida. Prior to his election to Congress, Brian followed in his father’s footsteps by serving in the U.S. Army for more than 12 years, earning medals including The Bronze Star Medal, The Army Commendation Medal for Valor, The Purple Heart Medal, and The Defense Meritorious Service Medal. While deployed in Afghanistan, he worked as a bomb disposal expert under the elite Joint Special Operations Command. The last improvised explosive device that he found resulted in catastrophic injuries, which included the loss of both of his legs. While lying in bed recovering at Walter Reed Medical Center, Brian’s father gave him advice that has stuck with him to this day--to ensure the greatest service he gave to our country and the best example he set for his children was still ahead of him. Brian took this advice to heart and dedicated himself to finding new ways to serve our country and his community.

As a bomb technician in the military, Brian knew that his job was inherently dangerous. Like those in law enforcement, first responders, and firefighters, Brian says you know the risks, then you take the time to learn how to mitigate the risks.

You can't totally avoid all of them, but you realize that you are serving something more important than yourself, so the risks are acceptable to you. "If something happens to you, it will be without regret because of what you are serving."

He adds, having you family's support matters a lot as you enter a difficult and dangerous responsibility.

Brian had a wife and new born baby when he encountered a serious accident on the battlefield. He says, the struggle beyond physical pain is the psychological pain of the unknown. At that point, losing both his legs made him question his purpose of life, and whether he would ever be able to carry kids or play ball with them.

One thought that kept him going while he was bedridden was: How do I still serve my country and continue to set a good example for kids?

Eventually, Brian found himself fighting on a new battlefield – the congress, fighting with words and ideology over a better direction for the country.

Losing his legs not only changed Brian's future, but also his relationship with God. He says, "Every miracle in the bible was not a passive miracle." Everybody who received a miracle had to do something actively despite being uncertain as they were doing it.

This became a turning point in Brian's life, realizing that he had to be an active part of learning to walk again.

From everything he has been through, Brian leaves us with two questions: Do you have courage in your life to be bold, daring, brave, to go out into the unknown? Do you have the will, drive, and fortitude to do everything you can do to make sure you don't fail at the dreams you have courage to pursue?

Resources Mentioned

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

by Jay Holland

Hope and Freedom from Pornography Addiction with Shane O'Neill

Pornography is becoming an issue for younger and younger Christian youth – and a challenge for their parents. For our final episode in the Technology and Family series, we talk about this often hard-to-breach subject, with a message of freedom and hope from guest Shane O'Neill.

Show Highlights

Shane O’Neill is the host of The Naked Gospel podcast. He is also the Editorial Director for Proven Ministries, a non-profit, sexual integrity organization that partners with individuals, churches, and organizations to see men, women, and families discover Jesus’ freedom. Shane is currently working on a graduate degree in apologetics at Liberty University’s Rawling School of Divinity.

"I needed to re-imagine with a biblical ethic the value of my body," Shane says on his own addiction. Our addictions often stem from the need to anesthetize ourselves from pain or as a stimulant, just like a drug.

Pornography, especially in the technological age, has everything needed to form a habit – being obvious, easy, attractive, and rewarding in an immediate way. Getting over the addiction means taking time to re-train these habits.

Your kids' devices are constantly being updated with apps and it gets easier and easier for them to view pornography, even accidentally, at a younger age. Understandably, when a parent catches their child watching porn, the immediate response is to scold them, but remember that often a child stumbling upon pornography for the first time is usually just exploring or expressing wonder. Instead, try to sit down and have a serious conversation with them to answer their questions about intimacy.

Parents can go through a range of emotions dealing with their kids' exposure to pornography. There is fear for the path of addiction they might go down; guilt that they did not protect their children well enough; shame of making their kids feel dirty in their response.

Process this situation with your child in a healthy way. There are ways to walk with your child though this. There are practical ways to deal with technology, but even more so, show your kids that intimacy can be beautiful with marriage. Rather than having them look for answers to their questions elsewhere, be there to answer their questions in a healthy way.

[bctt tweet="I needed to re-imagine with a biblical ethic the value of my body" username="jaydholland"]

Resources Mentioned

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

by Jay Holland

Raising Kids in a Screen-Saturated World with Eliza Huie

In today's world, we and our children are bombarded by screens. Eliza Huie shows us how we can raise kids in a screen saturated world. She also reveals what the real enemy is – and it's not technology

Show Highlights

Eliza is the Director of Counseling at McLean Bible Church in Virginia and the Dean of Biblical Counseling at Metro Baltimore Seminary. As a licensed counselor with biblical training, she brings expertise to the challenges parents face in a way that emphasizes organic gospel connections. Eliza and her husband Ken raised three children and recently had the joy of adding a daughter-in-law to their family. She is the author of Raising Kids in a Screen-Saturated World, Raising Teens in a Hyper-Sexualized World, and The Whole Life 52-Weeks of Biblical Self-Care available summer 2021.

Most of us parents right now are not digital natives. We didn't grow up with screens everywhere, so we need a little guidance on how to navigate technology in our homes.

Now it's common for a kid to have more than one gadget! Because of the COVID situation right now, their world is surrounded by screens from schooling to socialization. Eliza says, parents need to realize that this is a season and it's not always going to be like this.

It's just the reality that screens are a necessity in your kid's life right now, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't still exercise healthy habits and parameters when it comes to using them. Too much can lead to feelings of disconnection from our family and children.

Eliza reminds parents, not all screen time is created equal. If your child has to be online on a Zoom class, that doesn't count as leisure screen time. Sometimes your kids really need to connect with their friends online. But, when you notice them getting screen fatigue – headaches, eye strain, difficulty sleeping – you might need to regulate even their necessary screen time.

Model digital discipline and courtesy. Even if we are all working from home, on our computers, try your best to be available for face to face interaction when your kids are in the room. Let them see that you put your phone away and you have your own limits when it comes to using tech.

Before you hand over a new device to your child, have three important conversations: set the parameters and the conditions around it, like appropriate times and places to use it; talk to them about confidentiality; have the conversation about cost – even if it's a gift. Help them budget their data and the time they spend online. It's important your kids know that having a device is a privilege, not an entitlement.

The devices and screens are not the enemy. Eliza says, the enemy is the enemy of our souls. Don't look at screens as evil, rather think of how you can use them in a positive way that promotes good in your family.

[bctt tweet="not all screen time is created equal." username="jaydholland"]

Resources Mentioned

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

 

by Jay Holland

The Most Important Thing for Moms and Dads

Studies have shown that the average teen is in church maybe 50 hours a year, but they get about 3,000 hours a year with their parents. What happens in the home is so impactful on a child's spiritual life. As a youth minister, I find it so important to connect not just with young people, but to their moms and dads too. That's how the idea for this podcast started. Now, Let's Parent on Purpose is on its 200th episode!

Show Highlights

Through all the parenting struggles I've gone through as a father and a foster father, I've learned that the most important thing as a parent is this: believe in the gospel. Believe the gospel in its entirety.

As parents, I want to point you back to the reality that the most important thing in your life is not your bank account or your service at church, or even how well your kids are doing. The most important thing in your life is the reality that Jesus died for your sins and he rose again. Put your faith and trust in Jesus.

Many of us believe that gospel, and know that Jesus died for our sins and when we die He will take us to heaven, but we forget to believe the gospel in the moment as it applies to our daily life.

Believing the gospel in the day to day will radically change your narrative as you walk through any event.

  1. Romans 8:1 "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." However crappy of a parent you were this week, there is no condemnation for you. God is not sitting in heaven rating your righteousness. Even if you may have failed today in your parenting, ask yourself: How do I think about that in light of the fact that Jesus died and rose again?
  2. In Romans 8 we also learn that God sends his Holy Spirit to dwell within us. There is nothing that God would require in your life that He is not there and empowering you to do.
  3. God prays to God for you. You are not alone. God is interceding on your behalf.
  4. One of the greatest verses in the Bible is Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good." You can believe that gospel that what ever is happening in your life, if you love God and you belong to Jesus, all of those things will work together for your good.
  5. Romans 8:29 "For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His son in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." What does good look like to God? It is for you to be conformed to the image of Jesus. God is working all your victories and trials together to make you more like Jesus.
  6. "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

When you believe the gospel, it changes how you parent. Because you believe that you are not alone and you are not separated from the love of God.

[bctt tweet="Believe the gospel in its entirety." username="jaydholland"]

Resources Mentioned

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

by Jay Holland

My Key Takeaways from The Social Dilemma Documentary

Netflix recently released a documentary called the Social Dilemma. This is film is part interview, part family drama, part recreation of the Pixar Movie Inside Out.

In interviews with some of the primary behavioral and software engineers of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest, we learn how these products are not only designed to be addictive, but also to change user’s behavior.

I think every parent who is on social media needs to watch, and every parent of a child who is on social media should watch it with their children. Here are some of my key takeaways from the documentary.

Show Highlights

The drug industry and the social media industry are the only two industries that refer to their customers as "users." But, you may not realize that you are not the customer of the social media industry. As a customer, you would have to be paying for the product, but someone else is – advertisers. With social media, you are the product. Advertisers pay social media platforms to influence you into long term behavioral change.

As parents, it is alarming to know that our kids are not sophisticated enough to pick up on the nuance that social media is manipulating them like a tool.

Posts become engaging when they are shocking, outrageous, or incites strong emotions. Social media also tends to show you more and more of what you are biased towards. This makes us eventually see things only from one side and view the other side with contempt.

What makes conversation more difficult than contempt? This is being fueled by the social media platforms that we are on.

Protecting our children's privacy is another very important consideration when it comes to social media. But, social media is reaching a point where it's not just about your privacy. It's about changing who you are – ever more so with your kids.

Together with the normalization of young people having their own gadgets and being on social media at an early age, as a youth pastor I have noticed a much higher rate of pornography addiction among young men and women, higher rates of self-esteem issues and suicide than ever before.

To be a good example to my kids, I have deleted my social media apps from my phone so that I am not compelled to check notifications all day. If I want to get on my social media accounts, I have to wait to get on my computer at home. I have found that being on social media less has made me more engaged with actual human beings. I want to model to my children that this is not something that has to rule our life.

Think about how social media has changed your behavior and attitude. Has it raised your level of jealousy? Has it raised your level of isolation or loneliness? Has it raised your level of true connectedness? If you see unhealthy fruits from your habits, maybe you have to go on a social media diet.

Resources Mentioned

by Jay Holland

Technology is Not the Devil with Scott Pleasants

Technology is an ever-present entity in our lives and sometimes we can become scared of it, but there are also several wonderful things made possible by it. This new series tackles various aspects of technology and how it navigate through it with your family.

Show Highlights

Scott Pleasants is currently the Strategic Innovations Advisor for Innovate Lynchburg where he is responsible for helping businesses with technology and helping tech-based entrepreneurs with their go-to-market strategies.

Before being named SAI, Scott was the CIO for TRBC World-wide and the Director of Engineering Technology and Operations for the Liberty University School of Engineering and Computational Sciences.

Even if Scott is a tech guy and his family is inevitably hooked on their own gadgets, they still make it a point to put their technology down and spend time together, take a hike, or enjoy sometime unplugged – "and not make it the center of our lives," says Scott.

That said, Scott says, technology in itself is not bad – there are just people who do bad things with it. In fact, we can do major good with the technology we have.

Technology and platforms should be tools for you to use. You should not be a slave to it. Empower your kids to use these platforms for good using these tools.

Scott suggests not allowing kids to have technology in their own rooms. Make sure that the technology is in a common area and there are no secrets.

Encourage a healthy use of technology. Let your kids know that they are not being given restrictions because you are treating them like children. They should understand that these precautions are meant to protect them and it is for the whole family's safety.

Technology can be dangerous, so as parents, really sit down with your family and have a serious conversation about how you are going to use technology. Ask you kids, how can you do good with the technology that you have?

[bctt tweet="technology in itself is not bad – there are just people who do bad things with it." username="jaydholland"]

Resources Mentioned

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

by Jay Holland