Hindering hurt, rendering hope

Written by Sydney Wilson
Published on December 17, 2021

Today hurts. Last week hurt. Last year hurt. 

As I sit this morning, unable to pinpoint the source of my hurt, I feel distracted. See, hurt can be that way. Hurt can hinder every source of energy we have. 

Hurt can hinder every task we desperately need to accomplish. And hurt can hinder our ability to reach our present potential as parents and people. 

Sometimes, even hurt we have “gotten over” can creep back in or well back up and spill over into our everyday lives. 

But, while hurt has a debilitating effect more times than we would like, it also renders hope. 

Parenting in the hurt

Mostly, music is my go to method of worship. I listen and overwhelm my heart with songs of praise, and today is no different. A friend told me to start listening to Ellie Holcomb recently, and I have loved her album, Red Sea Road. 

As I was listening this morning, I looked at life from different lenses as she went through the different verses of a beautiful song. 

In the first verse she says, “It’s not the road we would have chosen, no. The only thing we see is darkness up ahead, but you’re asking us to lay our burdens down and sing a song instead.” 

Single parenting is tough. In fact, this verse is the epitome of the road we did not intentionally choose as parents. It is messy, and tiring, and seems extremely dark from time to time, although we put on a face of happiness. 

It is hard to parent in the hurting parts. It is even harder to take the higher road when the people we are forced to do life with seem less than willing to foster a sense of security in our babies. 

It is hard to look for light when we do not really see a glimmer. It is just plain hard to parent, much less while you feel alone or hurt. When we feel this way, my best description is feeling like I have a full cup, and it is constantly tilted on its side with the water flowing out. 

How do we keep pouring out without being refilled? When does the cup run dry? 

Unfortunately, when we feel like we are constantly pouring out of our full cups, it can make those around us feel like our decisions, advice, and work as parents is forced, spastic, and exhausting. 

The hurt is hindering. 

God as the rescuer

But, the chorus comes in. She sings, “And I didn’t know I’d find you here, in the middle of my deepest fear, but you are drawing near. You are overwhelming me with peace. So, I’ll lift my voice and sing, you’re gonna carry us through everything. You are drawing near, you’re overwhelming all my fears with peace.” 

Sometimes, in our deepest fears, we do not realize that is exactly where God waits for us. He waits for us where we need him most, and he steps in as the rescuer that he ultimately is in our lives. 

Hope, love, and salvation can be a lifeboat for peace. In every decision we make, we pray peace is the feeling we get upon making said decisions. We pray peace can reconcile our irregularity. We pray peace can take our hurt and render hope as a result. 

So, while we may all agree with these feelings, how do we apply them personally where it impacts our parenting? 

From hurt to hope

Remember the cup from earlier? The one that, as parents, we feel is constantly tilted and pouring out water. If you relate to the cup running dry, I encourage you to begin something new and simple. 

Take the hurt and make it render hope. If we do things repeatedly, they become habits. Sometimes when we are hurt we are reclusive—I know I can be this way. 

My encouragement to you today is to let it out. Take all of those hurts, feelings, exhaustion, and choices and reach out instead of in. 

Take baby steps to take care of you, mom or dad. When your heart feels relieved you will make room for someone to pour back into you. 

If you are looking for some ways to make room for repair in your heart and let hope back in, I recommend a few things that have worked in my life or the lives of trusted friends. Call a faith based counselor, reach out to a trusted friend that allows you to reveal your deepest hurts or fears without judgement (be fully honest), journal, or seek guidance from a faith community or church. 

Mostly, remember that you are loved, and that there are no hurts or mistakes too big or small that you can not be freed of. You are loved. 

Consider a few extra resources:

Wait in the wilderness: Your promised future is coming

God understands and cares

Defined by scars

Live perfectly imperfect

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Sydney Wilson

Sydney is a Mississippi native and the mother of two toddlers: Eloise and Wilson. She is a special education teacher and a graduate of Mississippi State University with a Masters degree in Mild and Moderate Disabilities. Sydney began writing in the midst of life changes in 2020 and strives to give hope to people through Jesus in the midst of their own changes, losses, or discouragement.

Read more about Sydney

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