Pairadocs

November 23, 2020

Perfectionism In The Home

Perfectionism.  Most would agree that this personality trait is not great.  BUT, if you are a perfectionist, you secretly, sort of, like being this way.  It’s kind of like being a “workaholic.”  We say we don’t like that aspect of our lives yet are inwardly proud of how much we can accomplish.  Perfectionism is, not only, bad for us as an individual, but can be devastating in our home. —–

PROBLEM:

  1. See it in:
    1. Kids- upset if not perfect, performance anxiety
    2. Mom/Wives- Clean house, fixation on kid’s performance, behavior, and dress, can’t leave work at work
    3. Dad/Husbands- How things look, Sports, irritation as substandard behavior/dress…
  2. Hold double standard
  3. You’re constantly evaluating yourself, and not living up to who you believe you could be. This induces shame. 
  4. Procrastination can simply be thought of as insecure perfectionism on steroids. 

SOLUTION:

  1. To want something is good.  To NEED it is not good.
  2. Embrace and sit in uncomfortable, unpleasant emotions
  3. By grace saved, not of good works
  4. Acknowledge it.
  5. What is driving this?  What core belief?
  6. Anti-anxiety tool is “Worst case” scenario 
  7. Adjust your standards to just be “good enough.”

—–

Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast  

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

 

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About Pairadocs

Pairadocs is a uniquely humorous marriage, parenting, and family podcast. If you've struggled in relationship; with kids, parents, spouse, or friends. No matter what life stage you find yourself in, you will find a connection with and come to love Jimmy and Josh and their hilarious father-son dynamic. 

The Pairadocs are a father-son duo with Ph.D.s in Clinical Counseling. They are both full-time adolescent/family therapists...husbands and parents. Jimmy also happens to be a full-time granddad (or Ace, as we call him). They've not only studied family dynamics, they've lived it, together. Join them for their weekly podcast as they muse about faith, family, and culture.

You can follow Pairadocs on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter,  and on their website at PairadocsPodcast.com.

About Dr. Jimmy and Josh Myers

Dr. Jimmy Myers served on staff at 2 Southern Baptist Churches for over 20 years in youth ministry, prior to founding The Timothy Center in 2001. As a licensed professional counselor and Owner/Executive Director of The Timothy Center, his daily focus is on helping others find God’s solutions to life challenges. In the many years of ministry to teens and their families, Dr. Myers’ experience has shown him that it is never too late to turn a family around. Dr. Myers has spent more than 25 years writing, ministering, and speaking nationwide on the subjects of discipleship, teenage life, and Christian parenting. He and his wife, Beth, are the parents of 3 children and their spouses, and proud grandparents to 6 grandchildren.

Dr. Joshua Myers surrendered his life to full time Christian service in 2000. Since that point the Lord has impressed on his heart a passion not only for people, but more specifically for the stories which they tell. It is that passion that directed Joshua toward Christian counseling. He has worked with a variety of ages and issues, and feels that the Lord has called him “for such a time as this” to minister to families.

Joshua has a passion for seeing the healing work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of God’s people. He is married to his beautiful wife, Katie, and they have the joy of being parents to three precious children, Ruth, JJ, and Sam.

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